MzEllen & Co.

IF the goal is to have a single site where two sides of any particular issue can be discussed and IF the goal is to allow both sides to explore and present their side and IF the goal is to maintain any type of impartiality and IF the goal is to have the site be a “safe” place (”safe” is in quotes because one person’s safety is another person’s boredom and one person’s “unsafety” is another person’s challenge)…well…it’s going to get tricky.

Some (hopefully) doable things.

• have a relatively even number of contributors on each side
• have a loose structure that allows for each contributor to post, but making sure that neither side has an overwhelming (lopsided) number of posts
• have a set of rules that is acceptable for each side
• have at least a couple of people who are responsible for holding each side accountable to those rules
• if it is possible, have people from each side participate not only as contributors but also as moderators
• let the moderators do their job; and don’t let the contributors and commentors do the moderator’s job.
• go out of the way to make sure that everybody knows that both sides are accountable to the rules
• make sure that the authority structure of the site is well known - who is moderator and who is contributor?  How do people contact moderators?

1) Have a relatively even number of contributors for each side:

If it is clear even from looking at the list in the sidebar that the site is lopsided, it may become difficult to see how a site can remain even-handed.  If there are a number of contributors who only post on a very irregular basis and the posts themselves remain (relatively) even, it becomes easier…which leads to

2) have a loose structure that allows for each contributor to post, but making sure that neither side has an overwhelming (lopsided) number of posts

If the site is set to show 10 posts on the front page, there should be about an even number of posts from each side (6 to 4 perhaps).  If the goal is to keep one side from being drowned out by sheer numbers, the way to do that is to keep one side from being drowned out.

3) have a set of rules that is acceptable for each side

I use the “Harris Twins’ Commenting Guidelines”

4) have at least a couple of people who are responsible for holding each side accountable to those rules

Even people who are experienced sometimes follow illogical paths or become so passionate or frustrated that the “rules” get left in the dust.  Having more than one person who stand together for the sake of “gentleness and respect” - and who communicate with each other when things go south - helps keep things better under control - especially when it is well known that they DO keep the contributors and commentors  under a watchful eye.

5) if it is possible, have people from each side participate not only as contributors but also as moderators

There will be resentment one side feels as if they are the only ones held accountable.  If you have an “A” moderator and a “B” moderator and the “A” moderator contacts the “A” folks and the “B” moderator contacts the “B” folks, it becomes more difficult for an “A” to cry that the “B” moderator has it in for him or her.

It is easier (welcome to human nature) to take a word of warning from somebody who agrees with you.

6) let the moderators do their job; and don’t let the contributors and commentors do the moderator’s job.

If the moderators and contributors are not clearly defined to the public (listed separately), and if there is a contributor who is scolding, lecturing and generally acting like a moderator, it will be easier to assume that person has the authority to scold, lecture and generally act like a moderator.

7) go out of the way to make sure that everybody knows that both sides are accountable to the rules

If the posts are lopsided in numbers, the contributors are lopsided in numbers and the commentors are lopsided in numbers, if there is even a perception of one side being held accountable and others not being held accountable, you will lose respect, readers, commentors and credibility.

8) make sure that the authority structure of the site is well known - who is moderator and who is contributor?  How do people contact moderators?

This has been covered but it bears repeating.

It’s not that hard to list the owner, the moderators and the contributors in separate lists.  It is frustrating to receive a public reprimand from a person on the only list in the sidebar and to accept that person as one having authority…and not know who is in control and who is taking on control.

~~~~~

A two-sided list may be possible and it may not be.

If it is possible, it is because both sides have a stake in supervising, moderating,  contributing, and both sides want both sides to feel safe and respected.

thanks for your words about Simey…we do miss having her around.

I do want to ask you for advice.  What is a nice (although very inexpensive), very small, very portable, very “feminine) looking humidor?  (I’d also like one that works well).

(one of my vices)

thanks!

I have a lot of respect for ministries or companies that put their materials out at no charge.

My first experience with this was the Atkins Diet. Yes, they sell books.  Yes, they sell product.

But if you want to know the information about the diet, it’s all there on their website.  They have an extensive research section, a section of links to research, a wonderful recipe section.

And then there’s South Beach (For only $20 a month, you can have full access to their site - and you still have to buy the book to get the full scoop)

And the Sonoma Diet (also $20 a month)

Yesterday, the Council on Biblical Manhood & Womanhood offered a list of books that you can download for free.

I’ve also heard:  If you want to get the full look at it, buy by DVD.  If you want the whole story, buy the book.

You can look at it a couple of different ways.

You can make a condescending statement like: it’s worth what you pay for it (perhaps we should start charging admission to church services?)

Or you can start with an assumption that this is a group of people who believes in what they are teaching to the extent that they are willing to put their material out for public use.

Especially for those who disagree with them.

I refuse to buy material from CBE International.  I don’t want to fund their ideal.

I can offer a list of books to those who disagree with CBMW - they don’t have to worry about funding a ministry they don’t agree with; the material comes to them at no charge.

Question:  Do you want your ministry known for offering information - full books - free for the download?

Or would you rather have the funding?

I’m taking a look at leadership styles and how they relate to different aspects of life where leadership is needed.

Basically, I’m looking at (here I’ll use the terms that are used for parenting styles) neglective, permissive, authoritative and authoritarian.  I’ll also be looking at “Servant Leadership”, which is vital, but not included in this list.

How do these styles relate to each other, can we look at one relationship (business, for instance) and apply some of the concepts to another (classroom, for example)

It’ll take me a few days, there is a lot of information I’m looking at.

I did the cooking, we all helped with clean up.  Tom took care of the turkey carcass and he’s using the leftovers to make soup in the crock pot.

He’s taking the apple pie to a friend’s house (if it’s in the house, I’ll help eat it) and Manda will finish off the pumpkin pie.

Henry at the heart, liver, icky stuff.  He’s putting on weight and walking better; I think that part of it is because he’s eating almost no dry food and is on a low-carb diet.  Still getting insulin twice a day but we may be able to keep him at a minimal dose if the low-carb diet helps.

Green bean casserole rocks.

In no discernible order:

• for Godly leaders in my life
• for God’s hand on the leaders of the world, godly and ungodly
• for my family; whether they be by blood, by marriage, by Christ or by love
• for my home, cozy and warm
• for the smell of the turkey (those who are familiar with anosmia know the significance of my ability to detect a faint whiff of turkey)
• for the continued relative health of my parents
• for the work God continues to do in my life
• for the family Christmas, coming up just next week, with my parents here!
• for life, liberty and freedom
• for the work of Christ on the cross, the sovereignty of God, for salvation for those who believe
• for my children; those living and those waiting for me
• for my job and my ability to help
• for my health
• for my love

From Only Sometimes Clever…like her, I didn’t get tagged, but it looks like fun so….

Here’s the deal: type the answer to each question into a Google image search, and you pick an image from the first page of results.  (I clicked on my favorite, then copied the image location - they’re small, but you can click to get the original image.)

1.  Age at next birthday:

2.  A place you’d like to travel:

3.  Your favorite place:

4. Your favorite objects:

5. Your favorite food:

6.  Your favorite animals:

7. Your favorite color:

8.  Town where you were born:

9.  Town where you live:

10. Name of a past pet

11.  First name of a part love (I’m not sure what that means, so I’m just putting the first name of my true love):

12.  Best friend’s nickname:

13.  Your screen/nickname

14.  Your first name:

15. Your middle name:

16.  Your last name:

(I’m opting out of this one because if you put 2 and 2 together and google my first and last name you get a bit of personal information that I’ve never put out there)

17. Bad habit of yours:

18.  First job:

19: Grandmother’s name:

20.  College major:

And…that was work but fun!  If anybody wants to play, feel free…just link back here so we can join the fun!

Saturday, she was fine. Chased a moth even.

Sunday she sat on the stairs, hunched over and cried when I touched her.

This morning she was laying on her side in her bed over the heating register, crying when I pet her.

This afternoon she went to sleep.

Simone was about 16 years old and the most affectionate and cuddly cats I’ve owned. She was known (even among people who don’t like cats) as “Sweet Simey”. She consented to be worn as a hat by my son and stuffed into the front of his t-shirt. She slept with my daughter and Amanda doesn’t remember life without her. Simey even liked little kids.

The trip to the vet was hard, but not as hard as seeing her hurt.

God created man in His image, we are the ones with souls. It is our job to take care of the earth and those that belong on this earth with us.
Animals don’t fear death, they fear pain and Sweet Simey didn’t deserve pain.

(The photo is from a time when she was fat, healthy, happy and very relaxed…)

I’m reading a book by Thom Hartmann (it’s a book I’ve had for years but don’t remember the title and it’s sitting in my desk at work). It questions ADD/ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder - with or without Hyperactivity) as a disability and looks at it through the screen of a personality type, or skills set.

I have an “official” diagnosis of ADD (inattentive); it gets me ritalin if I want it during exam weeks, although I have not used prescription meds in years. I do self-medicate with caffeine.

The prescriptions that work for those with this diagnosis? psycho-stimulants.

But wait…why would a stimulant work to slow down a person?

Here is the theory: There are a certain number of people who have a function in their body that releases less of a chemical than the body of the person living next door to them. (Do I remember the name? no, but the book is at work.) This chemical stimulates the nervous system.

So (the theory goes) I have less of this chemical running around in my body, so I feel less “stimulated”. How would this affect the way I run my life?

How would a child sitting in a class for hours give him(or her)self stimulation. Impulsively jumping out of the seat? Pulling the hair of the nearest child? Bouncing legs, doodling, watching the birds fly by the window?

How would this play out in an adult life? Waiting until the last minute to write a paper, somehow liking the stress of the impending deadline? Careening down a hill on a piece of wood called a “snowboard”? Strapping a big piece of fabric to one’s back and jumping out of an airplane?

“Normals” look at this behavior and say, “That person has a death wish.” They are wrong.

We have a life wish. If you ask somebody at the bottom (or top) of a cliff after a rappel or climb, they will tell you that they feel alive.

Alive!

It is the desire for the feeling of “aliveness” that brings with it the urge for “high risk” behaviors, whether sports, exploration or sexual acts.

I have a “life wish” - I want to do new things. I want to experience the wind in my face, snow in my eyes, water in my ears. I want to feel the sun on my back as I climb, the cool of water in my face as I dive.
I want to experience danger, excitement, even fear. I want to feel the flash in my limbs as adrenalin shoots down to my fingertips and toes. These are the feelings that life is made of and I want to experience life.

In an effort to be circumspect and “proper”, I’ll just say that I’m having a big glass of wine, 6 motrin, and I’m going to bed.  The physical condition that is bringing about my surgery next month is causing me discomfort, inconvenience and pain.  If you are a “male-type-person”, you may not want to look any further.

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My father-in-law was a hero.  A true hero.

He was a war hero.

I have hanging on my wall a shadowbox with his army induction photo, his bronze star, his purple heart, his D-day medal from the country of France and a medal signifying his belonging to the “big red one”.  I have the flag that draped his coffin.
I’ve read the story about why he was awarded the bronze st