Daily Archives: August 1, 2008

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I'm sitting here listening to the "noon whistle" - every first Friday of every month of the spring and summer months, the tornado siren goes off for two minutes.  "This is a test, this is only a test."  No matter where you are in the city, you can hear the siren.

A couple of years ago I had the pleasure of working with a very cool student who was born in Bosnia.  (He has since passed the exam and become a US citizen...that was a wonderful day)

He remembers the air raid sirens.  He remembers hearing the sirens and hiding...and then hearing (and feeling) the bombs.

When he came to the States...he'd hear a siren and panic.  Fire engines, ambulances...all causes for great alarm.

Every single siren was a cause for panic.

I see that out there - in the Calvinims vs. Arminianism deal...comp vs. egal...Protestant vs. Roman Catholic...Mormon, Islam, yada, yada...

If, in everything we read, we read it through the lenses of what is worst in our own past, we will think the worst of everybody else out there.

If we read articles, blog, books...with the lenses of our own abuse (whether we were the victims or perpetrators), we are more likely to see abuse.

When I read an article about cessationism,  I read it through the lenses of a person who believes she has had brushes with the prophetic.  It is hard for me to comprehend a "silent" God.

When I see women out there who have been open about their past with controlling, neglectful or abusive (or any combination of the three sins) reading blogs and articles and seeing only the possibility of abuse, I wonder how much of what they see is the article and how much is the the set of lenses they are looking through.

I have my own set of lenses.  I can see neglect (where none is there).  I can see a husband with a skewed sense of priorities (when I may be wrong, the priorities may be shared).  I can see a person who does not care about one thing (when they really only have different priorities than I do).

I can dread doing one act because I fear what the next step might be...even when I know in my brain that is not the case.

The "D" I know now...when he hears that "noon whistle" - no matter where he is, he runs outdoors and stands, eyes closed.  Just listening to the whistle.

He hears the fire truck and tells everybody around him, "do you hear that?  They're going to help somebody."

He's learning not to use his "Bosnian" lenses.

He's getting over his past.

Perhaps the  healing starts when we learn that the lenses of the past can sometimes keep us from seeing clearly.

Perhaps the healing begins when we stop automatically fearing the worst and start expecting the best.


Yesterday, tiro said,

the new rumors that women are just as abusive (specifically physically) as men and maybe even more so is just a bad rumor…. which I explained further in post #6.

I would say be careful what you label as "rumor"...

While it is possible that more violent women is new...it is not rumor.   I've worked in a public high school fairly recently and in that school, the majority of physical fighting was done by the young women.

I can offer a lot of possibilities that could contribute to a "new" phonomena.  Removing dads from the picture, or relegating them to a minor role could be preventing the teens and young adults from knowing how to interact with males in a positive way.  The scarcity of male teachers adds to that absence of positive role models.

The research shows that women instigate violence as much as men and that the greatest number of violent incidents include both partners.  To dismiss the research means denying men and women the help they need (either as violent partners or victims) AND serves to continue the "women good-men bad" attitude that political feminists seek to serve up.

(My computer got rebooted - by my son - and the tabs where I had the research got closed.  I am in the process of locating them again. )

At any rate, we're packing for a long weekend in Chicago so I'm setting the comments to "all comments need to be approved"...feel free to comment, but everything is held in moderation and I'll get to it several times.