Came up on my shuffle

I want to somebody’s everything…

I refuse to settle for something less than great.
And if it takes a lifetime, then that’s how long I’ll wait.
‘Cause all I want is everything, is that too much to ask?
Have romance, love and passion; find magic that will last.

And I want someone to think they’ll die if they can’t be with me.
I want to be their joy, their pride, their dreams,
The very air they breathe.
I want to wake up feelin’ loved and go to bed the same.
Yes, I want to be somebody’s everything, somebody’s everything.

He misses home.  I told him that I miss him a lot.

He’s short on cash and I told him that I’ll help as much as I can, which is not very much.

His financial aid still is not done because they lost my tax information (I can fax it tomorrow).  He has a $500 bill that needs to be paid.

But classes are going well.

It was really, really good to tell him I love him.  That his whole family is proud of him.  That he’s doing good.

And that – he told me that he doesn’t like to ask for money – that he should let others be blessed by blessing him.

16 – define “sin”

“sin” is that which defies the Law of God.  From our first father (Adam) on, we have all been born into a state of sin.

17 – how important is “denomination”?

I believe it is most important when looking for a new church – If you know what you believe, it is the denominational standards that will tell you if a particular church has the same general beliefs that you do.

18 – what are the advantages of being in a particular denomination?  disadvantages?

The advantages are that there is additional oversight – if something goes wrong in a church, there is somebody higher up that you can go to.

The disadvantages are that the more structure there is, the slower the process goes.

Yesterday, the high school where I used to work had an “incident” – as school was letting out a student left the building, took a handgun out of his back pack and fired it into the air.

Today a different student was caught with a sawed-off shotgun in class.

I got my new upper for the dental appliance (the lower has a minimal amount of puppy teeth marks and I’ve soaked it numerous times in denture cleaner).

Everything fits and the insurance is in the works – we just didn’t follow the right steps in the right order so they made the dentist’s office go back and do it again.

But I have my appliance.

This is Tom’s first day of orientation at NMU. I need to go to the bookstore and get a bumper sticker and maybe a flag or something equally hokey to put on my wall at work.

MY plan for the day?

• take a hike
• camp out at a coffee shop with free wifi and do something contructive (go through old posts that lost their categories and tags when I moved webhosts and sort them out)
• drink heavily.  (coffee)

…I left my son in the dust…somewhere south of the bridge…

(he got stuck in traffic  behind a rolled over semi…I went to Mackinac and bought fudge.  Right now I’m at the Burger King in St. Ignace waiting for him to catch up and I think he’s pretty close)

The Cut River Bridge is closed so it’s going to take us even longer to get to Marquette…I think I’m camping and Tom’s staying in the dorm.

Today I drive to Marquette – alone in the car.

Tom “has to”/gets to take his own car and check into the dorm.  We need to pick up a microwave (his room mate is providing the Wi, X-box 360, Playstation 2 and the 20″ TV.  Tom provides the microwave)

My iPod is synced but Tom took the car charger (only fair since it’s his charger) so I need to pick up one of those as well.

It will be a lonely day…not even an hour call on the way to work.

For my young man who is leaving for university…

A “humidor bag” (with a moisture pouch guaranteed for 6 months) and half a dozen Arturo Fuentes (assorted types and sizes)

Wednesday…when Tom is at orientation…

I’m going to swing by Canada and have me a Cuban.

Use my passport for the first time.

(I know…the whole cigar thing doesn’t really fit the whole “primal blueprint” thing…)

Disabling the app didn’t work.

It least it’s not “who wants you?”  because we already know the answer to that one.

(update) – there are a lot of apps that use “WHO LOVES YOU???” – best friend…yeah, I know.  Sweetest person….

flirts…?!?!

One at a time, when I’m least expecting it…another one shows up.

I’ll be okay.  It’s just a NEENER NEENER NEENER sort of thing.

The “Who loves you?” “notification” on facebook.

A freaking kick in the gut.

This is the second perm Lindsey has done for me.  She’s slow (OCD about rolling), but without a doubt, she’s done the best perm in my memory.  I asked for her on Friday and I’ll ask for her again.

Lindsey is a young woman who comes from a family with six children, (2 from her dad’s previous marriage, the youngest 4 are adopted).

She’s very open about her life so I asked her about being adopted (she’s from Korea).  It’s pretty obvious that her parents have a grasp on eternity – I asked and they are Reformed.

She said, “I have friends that have asked me if I want to find my “real” family.  I tell them [she used Scripture], I was thirsty and they gave me drink, I was hungry and they fed me.  I was homeless and they put me into a family.  What’s not “real” about that?”

I think that Reformed people have a different view of adoption than other “flavors” of Christianity – the right definition of “covenant” counts.  (by the way…when I get back from  vacation – I just don’t have time or desire right now – I’m ordering a new keyboard.  The keys are taking turns not working…a few days ago it was “x”, now it’s “v”.  I need to reach for the laptop keyboard each time that letter comes up.  I had no idea how many words I use contain the letter “v”)

Then she talked about all of her “guy buddies” and wanting to go back to college but not being able to get a loan because her dad’s a business owner.

It took 2 hours to roll my hair – she’s that thorough.

I slept six hours last night – the longest at one stretch in a while.

I got up, played on line for a little bit, got a facial wax (I’m hooked on the eyebrow thing), had lunch with Jan and then went and got a perm.

stopped at Starbucks (iced green tea, no sweetener) and then came home to play on line a little more.

Now…I’m thinking I’m going to give in and take an ambien and see how long that lasts.

Before last night…the previous 4 nights really freaked me out.  That kept me from sleeping enough at a stretch to give me good rest, which led to a massive sleep deprivation sort of feeling, which (along with fighting with wordpress) put me in a bad place.

It also hit me that the new multi-vitamin I’m taking doesn’t include iron, so I put that into my little supplement box.

After 6 hours of sleep (all at one time!) I feel a lot better.  Tired and sad still, but not in that dark place.  I also way overate today…but mostly good stuff.

My blog will be well taken care of while I’m on a short vacation – that whole wordpress thing had me more upset than I realized.  Thank you!

I also think that I should coaxe Tom into taking one of his last few days in the Lower Penninsula to drive over and see his grandparents.  It would be a long afternoon, but we could do it after church on Sunday.

seems so illusive.  I can sleep for about 2 hours at a time, sometimes less.

It has really tripped me out that for the last four nights, I’ve woke up – startled – got up and gone on the computer…and seen that I’ve been woken up at the same time that Phil is checking this blog.

That does not surprise me…I feel him.

It is sort of weird, and I think contributed to my restlessness.

Tonight I’m going to take melatonin and a big glass of wine (yes, I have the carbs for it.  With a whole cup of red wine, I’m still at only 20 net carbs for the day…I’d better be posting a photo of a pee stick tomorrow that says I’m in ketosis.)  Nutrition counts for the day:  1391 Calories; 95g Fat (67.1% calories from fat); 77g Protein; 27g Carbohydrate; 7g Dietary Fiber;

And when it’s time for bed, drink the wine, take the melatonin (not necessarily in that order), turn off my phone, put in earplugs, put on mask…and sleep.

No Ambien.  I have it, but have been resisting taking it – it’s not working anyway.

I’m getting help with Wordpress.  That made me feel about 150% better within 10 minutes.  I’ve been fighting with the thing for 3 days.

Pipe Dream:
n.
A fantastic notion or vain hope.
[From the fantasies induced by smoking a pipe of opium.]

I may need to quit smoking.

It is a bad day. I just need to crawl into a hole and stop crying.

Dark…dark…dark…

thoughts better left unsaid, unwritten…even unthought.

dark

11 – What church do you belong to? – Why?

At this time, I do not have a church membership. I attend a Christian Reformed Church that I’m fairly comfortable at, who will let me work in the limited number of ministries that they have – and the music worship is all I could hope for.

I do not have a membership because I’m complementarian and this church has a co-pastorship that is a husband and wife team. I do not feel comfortable at this time, taking an official membership in a church that I disagree with on a core doctrine.

I have visited many churches and this is the one that I like – other than this one issue. In the fall, I plan to talk to the pastors about the issue. My pledge will be that I will not undermine Pastor Amy and that I will not be the one to bring up the issue with another congregant. If they can live with that, I can live with membership there.

12- * Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?

I’m Reformed.  Sola Scriptura…and “come, let us reason”.  Part of the “reasoning” is digging through both sides of the issue and discovering which side has not only the best “pro”, but the fewest weak points.

I have radically changed views at least once in my life, leaving a Nazarene Church for a Reformed Church.  This was done after two years of studying and debate and not done lightly.  I’ve never looked back.

Naps…lots of them.

stay home and try to relax…

send Tom out to shop (and get his car registered and pick up glasses)

Hard core Atkins for the rest of the day.

Buy eggs and heavy cream.

Ride 50 miles.

Update Wordpress.

He’s officially in a dorm (actually, in an upper-classman apartment with a kitchenette and only one other person).

And he’s officially on a meal plan (he has $700 for the semester to eat on)

He wants us to drive up together (or in a mini-convoy) on Tuesday.  That’s okay…I can do that.  That’s only a week from today.