Tag Archives: Child Abuse


Violent Partners - Linda G. Mills (Intro)

(cross-posted on MzellenReads)

Violent Partners, by Linda G. MillsFrom the back of the book:
"In Violent Partners, Linda Mills continues to ask dangerous questions - about women's propensity to violence; about the murky powers stirring partnerships; about the ways in which the flaws and failures of the women's movement's response may have unintentionally sustained some of our collective risk. In addition, she bravely confronts her own complicity in the violence that helped shape her life: (Adrian Nicole LeBlanc, author of "Random Family")

Even the introduction is packed with information. Mills asks,

"(...)But has this enormous revolution in both public perception and public policy made America less violent? Are there fewer batterers than before? Are batterers learning to take responsibility for their behavior? Are women safer or more in control of their own lives?"

She begins to answer:

"(...)the ideology and rhetoric of the anti-domestic violence movement have become so rigid that they have created a new set of myths - or, at the very least, a new set of highly partial truths - that can be as pernicious as those we fought so hard to dispel years ago."

The book is about realities:

  • the popular perception of domestic violence (...)represents only a small fraction of the American couples struggling with violence today
  • Yesterday's victims often become tomorrow's criminals. Most researchers (...) now agree that child abuse if far more responsible for creating batterers than sexist attitudes and beliefs, and yet most batterer intervention programs fail to acknowledge this troubling legacy
  • Violence is dehumanizing not only for the victim for for ther perpetrator as well. When we treat the batterer as a pariah, we may be discouraging them from seeking help
  • Women frequently strike out - and not only in self-defense; in 24% of American marriages only the woman is abusive

Mills (in the introduction) makes it clear that she is not trying to demonize the movement, but rather expand it and adjust it to include the greater needs that have been covered up to this point (unintentionally, but unnoticed just the same)

Okay...the mother kidnapped, abused, neglected, disappeared...

and the father is PRESENT, but the kids are under the "supervision" of the Welfare Office.   The default custody is generally to the mother...even a kidnapper, abuser, neglecter...

A MOTHER who abandoned her two young daughters with friends in Cyprus is believed to be in her homeland Holland.

Dutch police are now searching her previous addresses to serve her with a summons, after an arrest warrant was issued in Cyprus for serious child abuse and neglect.

The two girls, aged nine and 11, are now with their father, Gerard Roppeveel, and under the protection of the Cyprus Social Welfare Office.

According to Annita Koni, the Head of the Welfare Office’s Family and Child Service, “The Department has already taken the appropriate measures to protect the children and they are in a safe place under our supervision.” (...)

The story came to light when a friend of the family – who frequently took the little girls in to feed, wash and clothe them – contacted the Cyprus Mail and recounted the girls’ awful plight.

She was appalled that crippling bureaucracy procedures were preventing Roppeveel from taking his daughters back home, so they could live “a stable and secure life”. (...)

Courts in Cyprus are hesitant to allow Roppeveel to leave the island as the mother is not present. They are also having trouble trying to get the girls’ passports as they disappeared with their mum, when she left Cyprus over a month ago, leaving her children with the family friend.

According to the Chairman of the House Legal Affairs Committee, Ionas Nicolaou of DISY, there are specific procedures that need to be followed for a father to be able to secure a court order for full custody in the absence of the mother.

“The father must prove that the mother has abandoned her children,” he explained. “You can’t remove custody from a mother without following specific procedures. He must see a lawyer and start these proceedings.”