Tag Archives: Divorce

Whenever a discussion about sex before marriage comes about and a Christian participates (in a "that's a bad idea" sort of way) the

"yeah but..."

"Christians have a higher divorce rate than unbelievers" card gets played.

What very few of the people who play that card stop to think about is

1) break ups outside of marriage
2) break downs inside "Christianity"

break ups outside of marriage

Since unbelievers cohabitate before marriage more often than Christians do, their separations are not included in the statistics. A study from Britain noted that most "live ins" lasted about a year.

Certainly, if the choice was "marriage or not at all" - they probably wouldn't have moved in together at all, but the fact is, cohabitations are not reflected in the stats.

break downs inside "Christianity"< /strong>

This was "fact checked" by Professor Bradley Wright, and I picked it up at The Gospel Coalition.

It seems that folks who just say "I'm a Christian" but are nominal and attend church seldom divorce at a rate 20% HIGHER than unbelievers.

But if you look at the segment that includes "active conservative Protestants" - they divorce at a rate 35% LOWER than unbelievers.

So, if you look at the top line stat, it looks pretty bad.

If you dig in, it looks bad for those who talk the talk (a little) but don't walk the walk.

A woman of my age, a single mom...it is usually assumed that I'm divorced.

Why do I simply say "single"?  The answer is complicated, and yet simple.

Since being single, I have discovered being one of the "second class citizens" of the church.  And even among that class, there are some that are lower than others.

I choose to let others assume a "divorce" because in doing that I have gained such humility and understanding for those who are not accepted because of their divorce.

I am not a member of the "I've lived a better life than you" club, nor am I assumed to be.

I am reminded every time somebody "assumes" before they act that I also should not assume before I act.  Many times I fail.

I wrote about a couple of my experiences (one woman scolded me for not sending my kids to see their dad..."their dad is in heaven with Jesus...I would do hard time for sending them there...")

I have been ignored by a particular woman at work who thought I was divorced...until somebody told her otherwise.

Being divorced is not a sin.  Sometimes the reason for the divorce is, but that is not to be assumed.  Grace asks us to assume otherwise.   My silence of the issue of my own singleness reminded me of that grace.

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