Tag Archives: Husband And Wife


I understand that the metaphor breaks down (metaphors do).

I understand that a wife does not exist to worship her husband (nor should she).  If the comment thread goes in that direction...it would be a bad idea.

I understand that a husband is not God (see above note about the comment thread).

What Can We Learn From Adam and Eve?

1) Eve was not a "less than".  Adam was the only creature that was created in the way that he was and Eve was the only creature created in the way that she was.

2) Eve was created to be a helper fit for Adam.  "ezer" was not in any way a "less-than" term.  It is used to describe God and it is used to describe help from God.  To be an "ezer" from God is to have a very special role and (I would think) would be a privilege and honor.  This is what Eve was created for.
3)  Eve was created to be a companion.  God said, "It is not good for man to be alone", and then, "I will make a helper for him."  One flesh - bone of my bone.  This is what Eve was created for.

My belief in reading all of this (including the parallels of a husband and wife to Christ and the church) is that Eve, created second, created as a helper and created "out of" man - was the...well...helper.  She (as helper) would have filled the need that Adam had for another "pair of hands".  God set the "job description", Adam set the path within that job description and Eve (by defintion as helper) helped.

How does that relate to Christ and the church?

How often have we heard the line, "Jesus with skin on?"   We (the church) are the representatives of Christ walking around on this green earth.

There is a job to be done, set by the Bridegroom.  Spread the gospel.  Protect the weak.  Feed the hungry.  Care for the homeless.

God, the Trinity, set the job description.  Christ gave us the "Great Commission".  The bride of Christ is His representative on earth to carry out the plan.

And a husband and wife?

God sets the job description - what are we supposed to do?  The husband (if the wife is to submit to her husband as Christ submits to the church) sets the path and the wife (as ezer) is his helping hands.

Does this make her "less than"?  No - it gives her an honorable part in the job that Christ has given.

Does it make the husband "more than"?  In the plan of Christ, no.  It gives him the burden of making (and taking responsibility for) the working out of the plan.

What can we learn from Christ and the church by looking at the first husband and wife?

Unity.  Job descriptions.  Honor in both roles.  Honor in service.  Job descriptions written by God.


This is a beautiful verse about the way a marriage should be handled. I'm still trying to figure out how to get Greek letters in here...

But Young's Literal Translation (awkward but accurate) says:
Defraud not one another, except by consent for a time, that ye may be free for fasting and prayer, and again may come together, that the Adversary may not tempt you because of your incontinence;

A couple of things really popped out at me...

Defraud is just like it sounds. I've done some studies on Old Testament marriage contracts and there were three things that were always guaranteed. A home (the husband provides and the wife maintains), food/oil (the husband provides and the woman prepares) and bed (sexual relations). These three things were so important, if any of these three were denied on a regular basis, it was grounds for divorce. To enter into a marriage and refuse the marraige bed was to defraud the mate of marital rights.

except by consent: this really caught my eye, concerning marriage in general.

sumphonou - sounds like "symphony" and means, in harmonious accord. Isn't that the way a marriage should work? Each half of the whole striving to be in harmonious accord. Just like the word that we get from this, symphony - it doesn't imply that you are in lockstep. Just like a symphony, each partner plays his or her own instrument. One time, one will have the melody, another time, the other will. And each time, their mate will be behind them, harmonizing, supporting. A symphony wouldn't be a symphony if everyone played the same note! So it is with marriage.

pros kairos hina scholazo - for a limited time, in order to give oneself to

fasting and prayer

and again may come together, (be one flesh, husband and wife, give one another comfort and pleasure)

that the Adversary may not tempt you because of your incontinence; How many people have fallen, because their spouse didn't pay attention to the consequences of denying their other half? I submit that a husband or wife that denied his or her spouse is a stumbling block the likes of which few people ever see.

This verse communicates the importance of "one-flesh-ness" and the importance of setting it aside only for the things of God, and then only for limited times.

I would submit that a husband or wife should not have to go without marital relations (unless there are special circumstances that prohibit them) for any longer than they also expect their husband and wife to go without food.  There is no reason for denying one's spouse the comfort and pleasure that a marriage bed should bring.  (The last paragraph has been edited just because it  was an awkward sentence and didn't quite say what I wanted it to say.