"Wherever you are spiritually
whatever you have been through emotionally,
you are already wrapped in the Lord's embrace.
Held close by nail-scarred hands."
~ Liz Curtis Higgs~

There was a time in my life when I felt battered by the world, abused by life. My father-in-law had heart problems, we knew, but was very stable. My mother-in-law had breast cancer, but with chemo and radiation was in remission. I was younger than my husband and we anticipated that in three years he (and I) would retire.

Within the space of a year, my husband was diagnosed with cancer, his father passed away in his sleep, his mother's cancer returned with a vengeance and killed her within two weeks. In the six months that follows that terrible year, my dad had a close call and major open heart surgery and only six weeks after that, my husband's own cancer took him away. All of that between November of 1990 and June of 2001.

And yet it was during that time that I felt more like a wife - a helpmeet - than I ever had before. I was wrapped in the arms of my Savior and my church family. My brother returned to the church after many years. My husband, for the first time, truly embraced God.

And even in that comfort, there was more. It was later that I grew to understand that God is truly in control. All of these things happened for a reason. Art was ready to die and there was a purpose in that. His mother always said that her prayer was that her husband die first, because she didn't really trust anybody else to take care of him. That prayer was answered. My grandmother once said that a parent should not have to watch their adult child die before they do. God granted that to my in-laws.

I said yesterday that I belong to a God who is in control of the universe. There is a purpose in everything He does, everythign that happens. Sometimes we don't or can't see that until long afterward. Sometimes we never see it. But the purpose is there.

What I know is: my savior holds my future, my life. I am held close.