From "The Gender Blog"
The article is mostly good, but when the whopper comes...
Misconception #4: Submission is a right-a husband has the right to demand his wife's submission.
A husband does not have the right to demand or extract submission from his wife. Submission is HER choice-her responsibility... it is NOT his right!! Not ever. She is to "submit herself"- deciding when and how to submit is her call. In a Christian marriage, the focus is never on rights, but on personal responsibility. It's his responsibility to be affectionate. It's her responsibility to be agreeable. The husband's responsibility is to sacrificially love as Christ loved the Church-not to make his wife submit.
My thought is that a Christian man, who has married a woman who claims to be a Christian, has the right to expect her to act like one. That includes being a submissive wife.
If he has not rights, then he is effectively in a hostage situation. Not a pleasant place.
She is to "submit herself"- deciding when and how to submit is her call.
Agreed.
The "when" is when she says "I do" on the altar.
The "how" is "as unto the Lord."
Anything other than that is disobedience to the Law of Christ, Scripture and love. It saddens me to see Kassian teach so.
bethyada
MzEllen, I am inclined to agree with CBMW here. I understand what you are saying, and it is very difficult when in this situation. But we are here because of the Fall. So while it is reasonable to expect (or desire) a wife to submit (especially if she has vowed to do so); the husband has not been given the role of enforcing such submission.
So he can discuss the situation with her, and possibly with the church, but he needs to appeal to God.
God asks him to love his wife regardless of whether or not she is keeping her end of the deal.
MzEllen
The right to expect something is not quite the same as the right to enforce it.
If I married, I would have the right to expect faithfulness, would I not? Yet, if a Christian marriage is not about "rights," I do not.
bethyada
You are correct MzEllen. And part of the problem may be in how the author wrote this. Rights are often connected with obtaining those rights, especially in our culture.
I think what Mary is getting at is not so much the husband quietly thinking to himself about his wife not being submissive when the Bible says as much, I think she is getting at the demand from husbands that the wives behave thus. We see this in the initial sentence: A husband does not have the right to demand or extract submission from his wife.
And I think this is consistent with the basic biblical teaching that we are to fight for the rights of others (especially the weak) and let God fight for our rights.