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This is a difficult post.

Our country's leaders seem unable to stop spending. President Obama said that we cannot "cut ourselves into prosperity." and yet, on an individual basis, people do it all the time. If you're in debt...stop spending and pay it off.

My son joined the "47%. Came home from college for Christmas and he's not going back. He doesn't have a job but does get SSI and Social Security benefits because of his blindness.

Our country needs to stop spending, but those who cannot work, or cannot find work...need help. (Note: Tom can work, but between school and LHON, he hasn't.

Then there's the question...when does too much help become hurting?

I don't know if I'm helping or hurting, but

1- the rule has always been if the kid is not in school full time or working...they can't live here
2- Tom is 26. He needs to get on with his life
3- and I need to get on with mine.

Our country is on her way down the crapper. We cannot keep on doing what we 're doing.

In the effort to not raise my taxes...my payroll taxes are going up and I'll talk later about my health care plan...

All in all, I'm sorry it happened the way it did...but I have to admit I'm looking forward to being an empty nester for real.

[rating=5]It's the New Year and changes are coming. Tom is dropping out of college and the rule was (for both kids) that if they're not in school...they leave.

I don't know what's going to happen in my personal (romantic) life, but my relationship with my son is not good.

anyway... the post title. I love this song. "10,000 Reasons (Bless The Lord)"

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning
It's time to sing Your song again
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

You're rich in love, and You're slow to anger
Your name is great, and Your heart is kind
For all Your goodness I will keep on singing
Ten thousand reasons for my heart to find

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing Your praise unending
Ten thousand years and then forevermore

Bless the Lord, O my soul
O my soul
Worship His holy name
Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name

Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
Lord, I'll worship Your holy name

Sing like never before
O my soul
I'll worship Your holy name
Jesus, I'll worship Your holy name
I'll worship Your holy name

New Year's Resolutions for the year...

Health and fitness:

Weight Watchers for 3 solid months, to see if the plan will work (as opposed to hard core Atkins)
Exercise 3 days per week

Blogging:

6 book/movie/music etc. reviews each month
blog daily, giving myself 2 days each month "grace"
once blog post on sermon notes
participate in photo scavenger hunt one time per month
comment on another blog 5 time per week.

Christianity:

Finally getting through the "Bible in a Year"
Finishing 12 theology books in the year (one for each month)
Finishing 12 "Christian living" books in the year

Misc. Read a little each day.

OH...and Fly Lady...

I ran across my elementary school report cards. Memories, good and bad.

Ellen talks too much, Ellen doesn't talk enough.

Ellen should read more, Ellen needs to leave her books at home.

Ellen needs to participate in discussions, Ellen needs to leave the people around her alone.

Ellen needs to do her homework, Ellen needs to be more organized.

Somehow, shy little Ellen morphed into MzEllen

Few people who know me now would recognize the shy, quiet (and very skinny) girl who was too shy to talk, to participate in games, to have a discussion.

1st grade...I got a new best friend. On her first day, she told me that she was a "n-word" and that's why I told my dad. He spanked me and told me not to ever use that word. Then he asked me who told me that's what she was...well, *she* did. She happened to be Native American, but that's not what she told me.

In 2nd grade, every student took an IQ test. Mine was high enough that they made me take it again...and then once more. Nobody "got" that the shy little thing that wouldn't talk...could be that smart.

3rd grade...ah...this is where my organization (or lack thereof) got me into trouble. It's also the age where kids start seeing "differences" and separating into cliques. And I didn't have a clique. If I was shy before, it got way worse here.

Anyway, those old, yellow report cards represent where I was, WHAT I was...where I am now.

Those social cues I just didn't get, the ability to stay in the "inner circle" - wanting to at least be able to fit with "that crowd," if only for a little while. Maybe not even fit...just be worthy of having them say "hi;" just a little word.

Those report cards, with the hand-written teacher notes on the backs. What made me change? Maybe I'm still shy, I'm just determined to not let it beat me?

I don't know. What I know is that I'm not one of the "farm kids" anymore. I don't have to take an IQ test 3 times.

I still cry when I remember that

I remember the awkward

Kent County, MI

??? Where can I put a dead TV? How much does it cost?

TVs (and vacuum cleaners...and all sorts of other stuff!!!) can be dropped off at Best Buy stores.

??? Grand Rapids (and Kent County) doesn't recycle styrofoam. Where do I take it?

There are a few places, including a couple UPS stores.

??? Too much cardboard and my bin is full! I don't want to wait 2 more weeks...

All of your basic recycle stream stuff can be taken to a drop off center

??? The city stopped picking up yard waste or the winter and I have some.

Too bad...sneak it into a regular blue bag.

??? Is there a community composting program?

That would be cool...but no.

Holiness: Its Nature, Hindrances, Difficulties, and Roots by J. C. Ryle. It's $.99 and the best buck I've spent in a while.

I have a loosely structured reading plan that includes very recent "Christian living" books and (at the same time) less recent, or even very old writings. I have benefitted a lot from going back in time, to a less "cluttered" written landscape.

A book on holiness, written more than a century ago, brings a clarity to the purpose of holiness. We've forgotten what holiness means, much less the role that holiness should play in our lives.

In the introduction, D. M. Lloyd-Jones (Westminster Chapel) wrote

The characteristics of Bishop Ryle's method and style are obvious. He is pre-eminently and always scriptural and expository. He never starts with a theory into which he tries to fit various scriptures. He always starts with the Word and expounds it. It is exposition at its very best and highest. It is always clear and logical and invariably leads to a clear enunciation of doctrine. It is strong and virile and entirely free from the sentimentality that is often described as "devotional."

The Bishop had drunk deeply from the wells of the great classical Puritan writers of the seventeenth century. Indeed, it would be but accurate to say that his books are a distillation of true Puritan theology presented in a highly readable and modern form.

The Puritans had so much to say! If Ryle boiled it down, that's great.

And in a Christian reading landscape that is full of "fluff," the "anti-devotional" writing is a welcome dive into the deep. I read devotionals and have found depth and peace and instruction - but rarely. You cannot find depth in a five minute swim.

Ryle says that a wrong view of holiness are generally traceable to wrong views about human corruption; in order to have a correct view of holiness, you have to have a correct view of sin.

This quote is one that I need to keep around and blog about later:

Justification is the act of God about us, and is not easily discerned by others. Sanctification is the work of God within us, and cannot be hid in its outward manifestation from the eyes of men.

Also...Don't EVER be ashamed of holiness. Not in front of the world, not in front of other Christians.

and, on spiritual warfare:

Let us remember that if we would fight successfully we must put on the whole armour of God, and never lay it aside till we die. Not a single piece of the armour can be dispensed with.

We can never forget that we need the WHOLE of the armor...

anyway...I'm going through the kindle book, looking at the highlights and they remind me of thoughts I had about the book...

If you are so inclined, click through the link and buy the book...

I don't want to diminish at all, even one bit, the horror and grief over the crime committed at Sandy Hook. But there is another aspect...how spoiled and protected we are, that we are ABLE to feel that horror.

Imagine a life where there is no shock at 20 children being killed.

Or worse, those children being forced to become the killer:

Faces

Did you know that often in Africa, children suffer a fate far worse than being gunned down by a crazy person; instead they are handed a gun, forced to murder their own parents, and then conscripted into an army to kill their own neighbors and friends?

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Protecting a Gospel-Centered Culture in Your Church

Including a "three tier chart"

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Given a current debate, this is a wonderful way of putting it. (MUST REMEMBER)

"Sufficiency vs. Necessity"

Evangelicalism broadly believes in an insufficient Jesus whose love is conditional, that is, that we must first meet a condition if He will help/love us. Can you imagine a parent who saw their toddler run out into traffic and first required them to meet a condition before the parent would run out to save them from oncoming traffic? No, no, no... parental love is unconditional and would run out at the risk of their life to save the child regardless of the child's will at the time because the parent loves his child and knows better than the child what is good for him/her. If this is true about love in everyday life, how much more is it true of God. No person would say that the parent who required the child to first meet a condition was more loving. That is why the argument about the necessity of free will to have true love is fallacious. In the Bible, God gives conditions, but in Jesus He meets all the conditions for us.

and

“God knows we have nothing of ourselves, therefore in the covenant of grace he requires no more than he gives, but gives what he requires, and accepts what he gives.”― Richard Sibbes, The Bruised Reed

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