11 - What church do you belong to? - Why?

At this time, I do not have a church membership. I attend a Christian Reformed Church that I'm fairly comfortable at, who will let me work in the limited number of ministries that they have - and the music worship is all I could hope for.

I do not have a membership because I'm complementarian and this church has a co-pastorship that is a husband and wife team. I do not feel comfortable at this time, taking an official membership in a church that I disagree with on a core doctrine.

I have visited many churches and this is the one that I like - other than this one issue. In the fall, I plan to talk to the pastors about the issue. My pledge will be that I will not undermine Pastor Amy and that I will not be the one to bring up the issue with another congregant. If they can live with that, I can live with membership there.

12- * Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?

I'm Reformed.  Sola Scriptura...and "come, let us reason".  Part of the "reasoning" is digging through both sides of the issue and discovering which side has not only the best "pro", but the fewest weak points.

I have radically changed views at least once in my life, leaving a Nazarene Church for a Reformed Church.  This was done after two years of studying and debate and not done lightly.  I've never looked back.

9 - What are you looking for in a life time mate?

Faithfulness.  Love.  A ministry partner.  A leader of the home.

10 - define "love" within a marriage

Love within a marriage is a little different than love between fellow human beings.

When you love your spouse, you love your own flesh.  You love the one whose body belongs to you.

For me (a woman), it means that I'll strive to submit to my husband as the church submits to Christ.

We share the same life, the same goals, the same will.

For him (whoever he may be), it means that he will strive to love me as Christ loves the church, giving himself up for her, washing her in the Word.

7- define "monagamy"

see "define faithful"

monogamy...one partner. Period.

8 - What are you looking for in a life time mate?

I'm not interested in "stuff".  I don't want a man for the stuff he can give me.  I want a man who will strive to be Jesus to His bride, God to His bride

...He will bestow preciousness upon me

...He will be my refuge, (Psa 61)

...He will stand up for me (Psa 94)

...He will nourish and cherish me (Eph 5)

...I will trust in his steadfast love (Psa 52)

...He will speak tenderly to me (Hos 2)

...He will be merciful and full of loving kindness (Tit 2)

...He will wipe away my tears (Isa 25)

...He will make me beautiful (Isa 60)

...He will carriy my sorrows (Isa 53)

...He will come to serve (Matt 20)

...He will restore my soul, He will lead me  in paths of righteousness (Psa 23)

and the tears are right here.

5 - Always single, divorced or widowed?

That's a simple question, easy answer...and it can feel loaded. We've established that "single" is a requirement, not we get to the "why"? (For an idea of how I feel about the issue, read Jay Adams' "Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible" - it's all about forgiveness and restoration)

I am a widow. I was married for 23 years and following that was in a relationship for nearly 8 years.

6 - how have you changed and what have you learned in that “single, divorced, widowed” process?

I've learned that there are many reasons to be single. I've learned through much study that divorce is not a "deal breaker" and I will not attend any church that believes that it is.

3 - Does "LTR" mean "long term relationship" or "life time relationship"?

I don't know how to give my love for just a little while.  I'll be looking for "til death do us part".

4 - define "faithful"

Faithful means:   When I think of love, I only think of one person.  I'm not interested in finding more than what I have.

One person's heart belongs entirely to the other.

If you have a history of a pattern of the things below, please examine yourself carefully.  A man once told me "there are men who have cheated...and then there are cheaters".  You should know which one you are before you make another person love you.

• No "looking" with the intent of finding a new relationship.
• no public profiles with "looking for..." in therm
• No "poking",
• no flirts, on list or not
• no behind the scene chatting.
• no having coffee
• no browsing profiles
• no dating on the side
• no movies, dinners, shopping expeditions.
• no sleepovers
• no physical contact (kisses, long hugs on the couch, "sexual" activity, and (of course) the biggie...don't have sex with another person.

These are all physical things that reflect the heart.  If your heart is not committed to faithfulness, don't bother me.

I don't have a problem with female "friends" on forums, but I would not have a problem with my "other" screening male friends for me (meaning "friending" them before I approve them) and it would be nice if that went both ways.

I know that I intend to be a woman of integrity, both as part of a couple and as a single woman looking.  My commitment is that I will not "friend" a man without having his woman on board with it first.

As a woman on integrity, I intend to ask if a man is free of entanglements BEFORE any chatting takes place.

Faithfulness is a hard limit...If you won't commit to that with me, leave now.

1 - Are you a Christian?

yes

2 - define "Christian"

A Christian is a person who believes and follows the teachings of Christ and the Apostles.  Not just the "red letters", but the whole counsel of Scripture.