I've done some pretty extensive studies on divorce and remarriage - at my age, there are not that many widowed guys and most (MOST) of the never married men are never married for a reason. Knowing where I stand on this issue was very important for me to figure out.
This particular post was prompted by a commenter on Challies who said, "The Levitical priests were not to marry a divorced woman because of defilement. Is that defilement not tied to sin?"
The actual quote from Leviticus 21 is:-15 " 'The woman he marries must be a virgin. He must not marry a widow, a divorced woman, or a woman defiled by prostitution, but only a virgin from his own people, so he will not defile his offspring among his people. I am the LORD, who makes him holy. ' "
Read this again. A priest had special prohibitions on who he could marry. Not only could he not marry a divorced woman, he could not marry a widow or a prostitute.
He had to marry a virgin. Period. It didn't matter what the reason for the woman's "non-virginity", a priest had to marry a virgin.
Next: the woman described as "defiled" was defiled by prostitution, not divorce. So, if a person wishes to import the "defilement" to divorced women as well, that person needs to import the "defilement" to widows as well.
So, I would ask, what sin in tied to being a widow, other than the sin of being married to a man who gets cancer and dies?
Another point is the status of divorced women.
Lev. 22: 12-13 If a priest's daughter marries anyone other than a priest, she may not eat any of the sacred contributions. But if a priest's daughter becomes a widow or is divorced, yet has no children, and she returns to live in her father's house as in her youth, she may eat of her father's food.
This is important to the "defiled by divorce" - in this passage, there is no difference in the "holiness" of a priests daughter, divorced or widowed, as it pertains to living in the priest's home or eating the sacred contributions.
There is no difference in status between a divorced woman or a widow.