Monthly Archives: December 2006

I read this book about a year ago and did a very quick write up on it, mostly including the back of the book.

On the heels of hearing about my dad looking for the birth and death records of his sister that may or may not have even existed - and knowing that he'll be spending time at the siblings that he knows died years before he was born...This time of year also reminds me the most of the children that I lost; for the last two years it has been different.  I believe that Phil has played a part and being "reformed" has played a part.  Resting in the sovereignty of God is comforting.
A few years ago my Christmas gift to Phil was a dinner with a gentleman who was finishing his doctorate through Calvin Seminary.  The "where does a baby go" question  is an important one for me and this man answered, "we'll just have to trust God to do the right thing."  To a grieving parent this is a platitude and not very comforting.  We want answers from Scripture.

At any rate, last weekend I read this book again and I'm planning a short series on it.

The book reviews four ways of looking at "When a Baby Dies" and then looks at a Biblical, Reformed viewpoint that is both merciful and comforting.

The four other views I'll be looking at are

  • universalism
  • the choice of salvation after death
  • baptismal regeneration
  • arminianism

The final chapters of the book deal with Reformed Theology and how it plays into this important question.

I have

  • a final PhotoShop project due next Tuesday.
  • my final lab practicum next Thursday
  • my final lecture exam a week from next Tuesday.

I have an aunt that is (probably) dying (we've thought that before) and my parents are driving from Florida to Michigan...the kicker is that my dad had a cataract removed yesterday and he's planning on driving the whole way (what...I've got one good eye...)

My photoshop project...

Fix this.

I think I'll be a little busy for a week or so...

I was in Seattle last weekend and visited Mars Hill Church - twice, in fact.

The first thing that I was not prepared for was the size of the building - it was smaller than what I expected and very plain.  What is going on at Mars Hill is NOT about the building.

The second thing I was not prepared for was the lack of warmth.  Nobody greeted me, nobody shook my hand.  Nobody said "hello".  I am prepared to state that (because of the demonstration that had been planned) it is very possible that I have no idea the stress these people had been under, with their pastor under attack for the Biblical beliefs that their church teaches.  Being prepared for a demonstration that was only called off a day or two ahead of time, a visitor might have been warmly greeted on any other Sunday.

But I think it might be more than that.

The third thing I was not prepared for was the video-Mark.  I did not know ahead of time that the 11:00 sermon was a tape of the 9:00 sermon - Mark Driscoll drives from one church to another so that he can preach at two sermons less than 2 hours apart, at two different churches.  It was sort of strange (the video).  The screen was at floor level and was life-size, so if a photo had been taken, you might not have known that it was a picture of a picture.

Looking around, I asked if there was warmth here.  The people seemed like they had been taught to sing, but not to worship.  No smiles, no animation (this was before I know it was a video sermon).
The sermon was not like I would have expected the real-life Driscoll to be - he seems a little (well, a lot) on the hyper side.

When asked, the sound guy said that Pastor Mark would be preaching live at both the 5:00 and 7:00 service, so I went to the 7:00 service Sunday evening.

I am so glad that I did!  There was such a difference!

Raised hands, here and there, smiles, doors were opened, warm greetings.

Yes, the real-life-Pastor Mark is very animated while speaking - very different than the video.

After the service, people stood around in groups with coffee, chatting and being part of the community.  The evening service was the Mars Hill I had expected.

My question is this:  do people who intentionally go to a video-sermon (when the pastor speaks live right before and two other different times) go expecting something different than a person who goes expecting a live sermon?

What motivates a person to attend a video sermon when the real thing is easily available?

Is that what made the difference in attitude?

2 Comments

Leila F., born abt August, 1919.

My mom's favorite hobby is working on our family tree (we have records back to the 400's - no, I didn't leave off the "1"). So it's a rather massive project.

She was looking online through old census information and discovered the census that was taken shortly after my grandmother and grandfather married (my dad's parents). On this 1920 census, there was listed a Robert Brown (my grandpa), Julia E. (my grandma that I'm named after) and a daughter, Leila F. - aged 5 months. The census data was dated January, so Leila would have been born around August of 1919.

Here's what we know. My grandparents were married in April of 1919. Their house had not been built yet and they lived separately (she with her parents, he with his) until the house was finished in August.

Was my grandma pregnant when they married? There would have been few reasons to marry, if a couple was not ready to live in the same house.

Consider the name - Leila F. My grandma had a sister, Leila. My grandfather had a sister, Flora. Did my dad have a sister, named Leila Flora?

My dad has six siblings that are buried in the same cemetary about 2 miles from the house that I just wrote about. Four of these siblings, two brothers and two sisters died years before my dad was born - they were four of the first five (maybe five fo the first six) children that my grandmother bore.

My aunts and uncles that I never knew were Robert, Jordon, Marilla and Lydia.

Robert was first born, born in late 1920 and died at 5 months old in 1921. Whooping cough; highly contagious.

Did Leila suffer the same fate, at the same time?

My grandmother never recovered from the deaths of her first four children - maybe her first five children. Lydia was 6 when she died and my Aunt Marian remembered her.

My grandparents would not (WOULD NOT) talk about these babies. They forbid their other children even to talk about them. My dad was an adult before they even had grave markers.

Where these babies are buried, the cemetary has blocks of four plots each. My grandpa's parents (mygreat-grandparents), my dad's uncle Jim and the four babies are buried there.

Nobody ever asked why there were 7 people buried in 8 plots - and the office to the cemetary burned down in 1952, so there are no records of who lies where.

As I said, my dad was an adult before his siblings had grave markers. He told me tonight that it was my Aunt Marian that basically harrassed my grandpa into putting markers on the graves - thirty years after the first one died. Dad said, "Grandpa did it but Marian got it done."

Is there a fifth child buried there? If they died at the same time, would Jordon and Leila been buried in the same grave?

My dad thinks so. And he wants to know.

  • There would have been no other Robert and Julia E. Brown in the county at that time.
  • Robert and Juia E. Brown had a baby girl named Leila.
  • There would have been very few logical reasons that they would have lived apart after getting married - unless they "had to" get married.
  • The name Leilah was a family name. My grandfathers sister was Flora (starting with an F.)
  • There would have been over a year between Leilah's birth and Jordon's - and my grandma was really fertile.
  • There is a empty grave in my grandpa's section.
  • There is no family information, since Grandma forbid talking about the babies.

On the other hand, it was my grandma who wrote out the first family tree books in her own hand, and didn't include Leila.

I asked my dad how he felt about the possibility of another sibling and he's excited - he wants to know.

And - most of all, I think - if there's another sibling, one that he never knew he had, he wants there to be another grave marker. He wants the world to know that there's a child that was loved and who died.

A child that was mourned by a mother and father who never fully recovered.

I lost my first five babies before they were born.

I cannot imagine holding those five living, breathing little people and losing them so early in life. Grandma and Grandpa went to the cemetary, but never visited that plot. They are buried nearby, but across a little lane, in another section. I have two aunts, an uncle and a husband buried in that section. Twenty yards away, I have two aunts and two uncles who died as children. Now, I believe I have three aunts and two uncles buried there.

About five years ago, the four grave markers that my grandpa put there in the 1940's were worn and mossy. My dad replaced them with stones that match their parents markers.

He's ready to buy another.

Is he right?