I weighed in last Friday morning and had lost 1 pound (puts me at the lowest official Weight Watchers weight). I splurged and bought (not the season pass) the 12 week Blue Cross discounted pass ($119 for 12 weeks). I also bought the new “eating out” guide and the new “every food out there” guide.

• It will probably still cost me $10 a pound to lose weight (hopefully I’ll get into a groove again but for right now I’m hoping for a pound a week average). The support of the meeting that I go to – sharing highs and lows, recipes, planning, etc. is what I like. I can get (and have and appreciate) accountability – it’s the face to face support that I missed the couple of weeks that I didn’t go.
• The “Eating Out” guide is great. I bought a make up pouch that will hold all of my weight watchers stuff and the size is good. There are new restaurants, but my favorite coffee shop (Beaners) is still not in there. Also, there are some REALLY high points foods that are not included in some restaurants and if you want to use off of you flex points in one day, you’ll have to research for yourself
• The (every food out there) Food List is ok but I think in the long run it will be easier for me to research foods as I go along and put them on index cards to keep handy. Kashi cereal is in there, but no Kashi bars, which is what I eat.
• Official update (resolutions and weight) will be coming up on Saturday.

On the home school front:

The federal government, in its “wisdom” has decided for me that once Amanda turned 18, she had to be enrolled full time in a “government approved” school – that doesn’t include home school. She has not officially graduated so the college won’t let her go full time. So, for the time being, she’s enrolled in the high school in our “attendance area”. I’m not happy about it, but she’s okay with it (she gets to go to prom). They will take all of her college classes and give her credit for them and part of her homeschooling into consideration, but not all. She will be 1 semester class short (1/2 of a credit) of being “able” to graduate”. One option is to let her finish the year at the public school and officially graduate her as a home schooler. Sending her back to school is my least favorite option, but I can’t afford to turn my back on the money from my widow’s annuity.

On the “products” front:

These are really (REALLY) good. Four sticks equal one point and they are so dark and rich, one stick at a time is plenty!

I’ve backed way off of blogging, both writing and reading. There are a variety of reasons, some of which are good, others not so good.
I’m having a bit of difficulty settling into this semester’s routine – the online class is too easy to put off doing. The fitness class (combined with my diet plan and being determined to break this plateau) is consuming a lot of time. I’ve walked over 12,000 steps two days in a row (which is time consuming), including 5 or 6 miles worth of Walk Away the Pounds.

After work stuff – doctor’s appointment, class work, kid work.

• Amanda is going to have to be enrolled in a public school this semester (or the government cuts off my widow’s benefits) so we’ve been dealing with that. I’m not happy, but that’s the way it has to be for right now. There are other options, but not many.
• Doctor stuff – more upcoming. I’m getting to the point where my doctor used the “h” word (hysterectomy). I don’t want that and I’m not at the point where having one is better than not having one. But we’re doing a bone density test, ultrasound, etc.
• Playing around too much. Tonight I need to get to business and I have a lot of after school running around to do.

On hold for next week – posting the last of “When a Baby Dies” – comparing and contrasting Arminian thinking and Reformed thinking.

I’m weighing in tomorrow morning…I think this will be a good week!

It’s been a fairly good week.  (slight change – I’m starting my week on Saturday, not Sunday, so that I have an accurate, full week at my meeting on Saturday mornings – so this is the second day of my week)
I wimped out on doing Weight Watchers on my own – most of it is that I want to be able to use their resources and get their stuff.  It had been 2 weeks since I officially weighed and I lost a 1/2 pound (net) in that time.  Since I bumped up a pound last week, this is a net 1 1/2 pound loss (my scale at home is matched as perfectly as it can get with the weight watchers scale – what I weigh at home is exactly what the weight watchers scale says 10  minutes later)
So far:

• 52383 steps counted on my pedometer this week.  (gives me 125706 for the month/year) – this DOES put me on track for my goal of 2,000,000 steps this year.
• 19.5 miles WATP (37 for the month/year) – this does NOT put me on track for my goal of 500 miles of WATP for the year. I may drop the WATP to 400 and up my steps to 2,500,000 so that I can make my goal (which is still lofty) and include more outdoor walking
• I ate my AP’s this week and used about 20 of my Flex points.

The “official” update will be in two weeks (the first Saturday of the month)

This week’s goals -

• The “DO’s”

• Do log EVERYTHING I eat (even the o points stuff like splenda packets, coffee and diet soda
• Do drink 4 cups of green tea daily (goal this week: 75% of the time)
• Do take ALL of my vitamins (goal this week: 75% of the time)
• Do walk an average of 7,500 steps per day (I’m traveling this weekend so I need to do an average)
• Do drink 6 (8 oz) glasses of water every day

• Don’t drink more than 4 diet sodas for the week (sometimes I hit that in a day)
• Don’t drink more than 2 cups of coffee per day (that’s down some – yes, I am a caffeine junkie)

I’ve probably already blown the vitamin part…but the rest is good to go!

My weight is still stalled, even though I’ve been sticking closer to the weight watchers plan than I was when I was losing weight really well…

but…(drumroll)

Today I walked my 100,000th step for the year. (yes, I am rather fanatical about wearing a pedometer)

Tomorrow, I’m going to start going through itunes and picking out some good workout music (because I’m a student at the college, I have full access to all of the fitness areas). Tomorrow I’m going to try the elliptical trainer…

Access.  Nuff said.

Dreamweaver.  Also nuff said.  (this is an online course so maybe I can finish early)
Wellness.  WE 166.  the “independent studies” of health and fitness.  I go in next Monday for the baseline test (put me on an exercise bike and take my pulse) and then go off and do my aerobics thing.  Go back every three weeks for another test and after four of them my grade is based on how much my heart (stamina wise) has improved since the baseline.

Because of my PCOS, my heart rate is high to start with and if they stop the test because it goes higher than my target rate (a given) I’m messed up.  If they don’t stop the test until I reach my maximum rate, I’m good to go because it doesn’t go that high.

So I have my little chart to keep track of heart rates and minutes and such things.

“The Young Spurgeon” by Peter Jeffery.

This is a good biography, focusing on the early years of Charles H. Spurgeon.  There’s a lot of good stuff in here, but it’s written in somewhat of a dry language.  If you’re a Spurgeon fan, I really suggest you read this book to get an insight on how his early life may have formed his later life.

One of the things that struck me is that he came from a Reformed background, but some of the things that his family did seemed very Arminian.  One example, when Spurgeon was very young, he was staying with his grandfather (a preacher).  He would be in the same room while his grandfather was preparing his sermons and would (pretty much) be threatened with, “if you don’t be quiet, I might not do a good job preaching and what if (what if?) I don’t do a good job preaching and there are some people who might not be saved – so be quiet”.

I wondered how much of Spurgeon’s emphasis (although not his theology) was formed as a reaction.

A committed Calvinist, Spurgeon took a lot of heat in the town where he preached.  The pain of the attacks is evident in his writings, and yet he remained committed to that which he believed was right.

One of the things that I look to Spurgeon for – he never, ever lost his sense of wonder that God saved him – the understanding of how amazing is God’s grace for his elect.

Another thing that strikes me is how unusual it would be – how unlikely! that a young man would be allowed to preach and even be the pastor of a church at the age of 16.   So few churches would allow a man who had not been through seminary to take the pulpit.  Yet Spurgeon’s passion for God, for reaching the lost and hurting, for preaching the Gospel – he belonged in the pulpit.

There is more – I invite you all to read more about this great man of the faith.

We had a very nice family time – we didn’t do much (we played Life and Apples to Apples and Phase 10).  We had a wonderful dinner and gave (and opened) the last of our Christmas gifts (yes, it’s odd but it works for us).

Yesterday I set off on a little walk (how difficult can it be to walk around the block).  There are no blocks, just twisty-turny streets that go off in odd directions.  I was on the phone while I walked (the weather was turning cold at this point) and when I reached Dundee Street (or Ave) I asked Phil to please google map the home address so I could figure out how to get back…

He said, “uh…you have well over a mile to get back”  So I walked back (the whole walk was over 6,000 steps, or estimate around 3 miles).  I earned the wedding cake cookie.

And the dinner…when my in-laws were alive and still in ministry, they enjoyed this restaurant.  They serve a one-pound pork chop and Judy has the recipe; it’s wonderful. (the chops are cut to 2″ thick – click on “history” and you can download it)

We expected nasty weather so we left early in the day and the roads were clear and dry – all in all, we were very blessed.

a quick trip to Chicago (complete with absolutely blowing the diet – I’m planning on it)

We’re getting together with my husband’s sisters – who are very, very good to us.  I cannot tell you all how much I appreciate the love and acceptance that flows from these two women.

This is a repost of a “page” that I’m making into a “post”

I ended up reading it a couple of times, front to back. It would have been easy to simply look for the time period that I needed and stick the book on a shelf – but it’s a better book than that.

The book begins:

Christianity is the only major religion to have as its central event the humiliation of its God.

Shelly truly does start at the beginning – before the birth of Christ, describing Palestine in that time period, and then covering Christ’s ministry on earth.

My class spent a lot of time on the “Holy Roman Empire” and I did learn a lot – both from the class, supported by this book. Especially interesting to me was the time spent on the “Age of the Reformation”. Shelley doesn’t shy away from writing about both the good points, the bad points or the excesses of all of the “major players”.

The list of chapters:

1. The Age of Jesus and the Apostles
2. The Age of Catholic Christianity
3. The Age of the Christian Roman Empire
4. The Christian Middle Ages
5. The Age of the Reformation
6. The Age of Reason and Revival
7. The Age of Progess
8. The Age of Ideologies

From the back of the book:

In this new edition of the classic text, Shelley explores contemporary phenomena such as the Religious Right, mega-churches, and user-friendly worship services as well as some of the leading personalities behind these movements…

“Wherever you are spiritually
whatever you have been through emotionally,
you are already wrapped in the Lord’s embrace.
Held close by nail-scarred hands.”
~ Liz Curtis Higgs~

There was a time in my life when I felt battered by the world, abused by life. My father-in-law had heart problems, we knew, but was very stable. My mother-in-law had breast cancer, but with chemo and radiation was in remission. I was younger than my husband and we anticipated that in three years he (and I) would retire.

Within the space of a year, my husband was diagnosed with cancer, his father passed away in his sleep, his mother’s cancer returned with a vengeance and killed her within two weeks. In the six months that follows that terrible year, my dad had a close call and major open heart surgery and only six weeks after that, my husband’s own cancer took him away. All of that between November of 1990 and June of 2001.

And yet it was during that time that I felt more like a wife – a helpmeet – than I ever had before. I was wrapped in the arms of my Savior and my church family. My brother returned to the church after many years. My husband, for the first time, truly embraced God.

And even in that comfort, there was more. It was later that I grew to understand that God is truly in control. All of these things happened for a reason. Art was ready to die and there was a purpose in that. His mother always said that her prayer was that her husband die first, because she didn’t really trust anybody else to take care of him. That prayer was answered. My grandmother once said that a parent should not have to watch their adult child die before they do. God granted that to my in-laws.

I said yesterday that I belong to a God who is in control of the universe. There is a purpose in everything He does, everythign that happens. Sometimes we don’t or can’t see that until long afterward. Sometimes we never see it. But the purpose is there.

What I know is: my savior holds my future, my life. I am held close.

When I hear
this song, it speak to my heart.
I’ve written about “Soli Christi” – Christ alone.
There is no other mediator, no other salvation,

No other name by which we can be saved.
strength and my shield, my song of songs.
The Cornerstone that cannot be moved,
my Solid Rock.

Lover of my soul, giver of peace.
In Him only there is peace.

Here, I stand.

There are few
humans more helpless than a newborn,
yet that’s how He came to us – fully God and fully man.
Totally sinless, so that He could be the final and only
complete sacrifice to pay for His people’s many, many sins -
their sin.

Oh…they hated Him and what He has to say. When you
have lived under a system where your salvation depends on
your following the rules, your sacrifices, your works, it
strikes at your pride to hear – Look upon me and live.
When He died, Christ paid. There is no condemnation for
those who are in Him.

Here, I live.

How His followers
must have felt. They had been so sure
that He was to rescue them. They didn’t understand
what He was rescuing them from.

And the new day – the eighth day. Victory over the grave;
for all who believe in Him. I am not cursed. I am my Beloved’s
and He is mine.

Here, I am bought and paid for.

Stem cells found in embryonic fluid.

Predectably – even though stem cells can be gotten this way, Dr. George Daley, a Harvard University stem cell researcher, said that finding raises the possibility that someday expectant parents can freeze amnio stem cells for future tissue replacement in a sick child without fear of immune rejection.Nonetheless, Daley said the discovery shouldn’t be used as a replacement for human embryonic stem cell research (who began work last year to clone human embryos to produce stem cells), says that this is “not a substitute for human embryonic stem cells.”

No, no…of course not.

goals for the week:  Saturday will be the “magic marker day” – we’ll be in Chicago with my sister-in-laws.  Other than that, sticking to 25 points per day (with 30 flex points).  Also, walking 30,000 steps (which might be hard, because I have a new pedometer that sits on my belt wrong and I keep resetting it to “0″).  And 10 miles of Walk Away the Pounds.

My daily eating will be posted (as usual) on my weight loss blog.

Last week was my first “perfect” weight watchers week.  Right on points, right on exercise.  I gained 1/2 pound.

So, today I had what I affectionately call a “magic marker” day – in my food journal I just take a magic marker and put an “X” through the day and move on tomorrow.

Believe it or not, it sort of shakes up my system and I start losing again…

anyway…the official number is:  today I weigh exactly 2.5 pounds less than I did on the first Saturday of December.

(This is cross-posted on “Laced with Grace”…

I’m writing on Friday night…today I had the pleasure of seeing and hearing N.T.Wright speak at Calvin College’s “January Series”. The topic was “Simply Christian”, also one of his book titles.  He said that his goal with this book was to do for our century what C.S. Lewis did with “Mere Christianity”.  Either the man is incredibly arrogant and he’ll be found out…or he’s incredibly good and will do just what he set out to do.  My guess is that he will do what he set out to do.

He reminded me of a lot of things.

1- All human beings are created in the image of God.

Even though, after the fall, that image is distorted and imperfect, the image is not entirely erased.  It is to these reflections of God that we are to live out the life of the Gospel.

2- Staring at the sun/staring at the Son.

Wright said, “The more you look at God, the more you should expect to be dazzled. Most of the time when I am working my little heart out, what I should be doing is looking at God – and letting Him dazzle me.

3- We live where heaven and earth meet.

In the Old Testament, God met His people in two places: in the Torah and in the Temple.  In the New Covenant, WE are the temple of the Holy Spirit.  God speaks to the world today through His Word and through his people.  For some, we will be the only “Bible” they ever meet.

4- We become like what we worship.

If we worship a stone idol, a bit of us dies as we take on the image of the stone.  If we worship before the TV, we take on the image of what it is showing us.

If we worship the One, True, Living God, we will become more like Him.

I want you all to ponder the last paragraph of the book:

Made for spirituality, we wallow in introspection.  Made for joy, we settle for pleasure.  Made for justice, we clamor for vengeance.  Made for relationship, we insist on our own way.  Made for beauty, we are satisfied with sentiment.  But new creation has already begun.  The sun has begun to rise.  Christians are called to leave behind, in the tomb of Jesus Christ, all that belongs to the brokenness and imompleteness of the present world.  It is time, in the power of the Spirit, to take up our proper role, our fully human role, as agents, heralds, and stewards of the new day that is dawning.  That, quite simply, is what it means to be Christian: to follow Jesus Christ into the new world.  God’s new world, which He has thrown open before us.

When a Baby Dies, by Ronald Nash.

Baptismal Regeneration.

A number of denominations teach baptismal regeneration – Nash puts it like this:

According to this teaching, God uses the means of water baptism to produce the inward change in the human heart that theologians call regeneration. Children or adults who have not been baptized are not saved, they are not born again, and their sins are not forgiven. Water baptism is a necessary condition for the new birth.

If baptism is necessary for salvation, that leaves us with the obvious conclusion that there is no hope for the millions of babies (born and pre-born) that have died without being baptized over the centuries. So we need to look at the question of whether or not baptismal regeneration is taught in Scripture.

One of the things to keep in mind: when a Scripture passage can be read in two different ways, and one of those ways is in conflict with the rest of Scripture, then the interpretation that leads to the conflict must be discarded.

Read John 3:16,18,36.

Regeneration is a matter of the Holy Spirit and the heart of man.

John 3 is a passage that some use as a proof text for baptismal regeneration.

“I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit (…)”

Use of this passage assumes that

1. being “born of water” is identical to the baptism that Jesus would institute after His resurrection (Matt 28:19)
2. it is the baptism that produces regeneration.

Looking at the historical context of the encounter, we can ask, “what would Nicodemus have understood Jesus to be saying?”

1. Would he have understood Jesus’ baptism by John the Baptist to be identical with “born of water?” (no, the New Testament is clear that the baptism of John is different than the Christian baptism – Acts 19)
2. Would Nicodemus have understood Jesus to be speaking of the Christian baptism? (no, that had not been instituded yet)

On the other hand…

Charles Hodge, (19th Century, Princeton Theological Seminary) argued that John 3:5 sets up an analogy between the way water cleanses the body and the way that the Holy Spirit cleanses the soul. In other Biblical passages, the sign and the thing signifiec are often united (Isa 35 and 55, Jer. 2:13, John 4:10). It is CHRIST that is the water, not baptism.

So we have two conflicting interpretation: 1) born of water = baptism 2) born of water = born of Christ.

The Bible never “waters down” the gospel of grace: we are not saved by anything we DO, our salvation is based on God’s unmerited favor; grace. Regeneration comes about through the work of the Holy Spirit.

Since the passage never specifically refers to baptism let along baptismal regeneration, we can come to the conclusion that Nicodemus would not have understood “water” to be physical baptism and that “water” (as used here) can be understood as an analogy for the soul-cleansing work of the Holy Spirit.
Conclusion: the doctrine of baptismal regeneration is not the basis of hope for the families of babies who have died. It gives false hope to those who believe that they or their children are fit for heaven because of a ceremony that happened sometime in the past and it (of necessity) entails the belief that unbaptized infants are in hell because their parents did not participate in a sacramental ceremony of a church.

In honor of the burial of Gerald R. Ford – walking distance from my house.  The formation went right over my yard.

The Carnival of Beauty is up at Sallie’s place!

(Note: this is a repost, moving it from a “page” to a post”)

From Forgiven to Forgiving, Jay E. Adams

An excellent book (the best that I’ve read – ever) on Biblical forgiveness.

When I say this is the best book – I mean that I buy this book five at a time so that I can give them away!

from the back of the book:

What do the following statements about forgiveness have in common?·Forgiveness is obtained through apologizing.·The best thing you can do is “forgive and forget”.·You aren’t forgiven until you feel forgiven.·Even if someone hasn’t asked for forgiveness, you can still forgive them.These statements all represent popular misconceptions about true biblical forgiveness. Because forgiveness plays such a major role in our relationships with other people, it’s critical to have a clear idea of God’s plan for forgiving and being forgiven. Distortions in His plan can lead to twisted thinking and further pain for those struggling with forgiveness issues.In this book, Dr. Jay Adams carefully explores all dimensions of the process of forgiveness. He can help you understand biblical forgiveness from beginning to end, and apply that understanding to everyday situations ranging from forgiving your straying spouse or prodigal child–and being forgiven by them as well.If you have experienced the incredible power of God’s forgiveness in you life, read this book and see how forgiveness’ power can change your life as you relate to others.

- What forgiveness is and does. Forgiveness is NOT a feeling. Forgiveness is a promise and we are to model our forgiveness after God’s forgiveness of us. God promises to not hold our sins against us, and when we forgive we are promising not to hold another’s sins against them.- Forgiveness is a two-way street. Forgiveness involves repentence – and either way (if we are the one offended, or if we know that we have offended another) restoration begins with us. In one passage we are instructed to go to a spiritual sibling that we know we have offended, in another we are intructed to go to a spiritual sibling who has offended us. Either way, we should be running to the person we are at odds with.- “Apologizing” is the world’s substitute for forgiving. Looking at the entemology, “apologia” was a defense made at court. So, rather than asking forgiveness (God’s way), an apology started out being a defense against one’s sin. Look at our word “apologetics” – it means “defense of”. Saying “I apologize” is a far cry from “I have sinned against God and against you. Will you forgive me?” Think of our kids – how sincere do you think they were when they looked at their feet and mumbled “sorry” to their sibling? When a person says “sorry”, they are not asking the one offended to do anything, nor are they agreeing to do anything. The matter is not put to rest.- “Sorry” is an emotion”. “I sinned, please forgive me” is far more.Adams uses this illustration:

Picture the wrongdoer holding a basketball. He apologizes, saying, “I’m sorry.” The one offended shuffles his feet awkwardly. It is always awkward to respondn to an apology, because you are not asked to do anything, and yet some sort of response is expected. The offended party says something inane like, “Well, that’s OK.” But it isn’t. The matter has not been put to rest. When you say the wrongdoing it OK you either lie or condone a wrong. At the end of the transaction the wrongdoer is still holding the ball.

Now, consider forgiveness. The wrongdoer comes with his basketball. He says, “I wronged you. Will you forgive me?” In doing so, he tosses the ball to the other person. He is freed of his burden. Not the burden of responsibility has shifted. The one wronged is asked to do what God requires him to do. He must either make the promise or risk offending God…

This is where it gets personal. This week I offended a person. I tossed the basketball in this person’s direction – the basketball is in that person’s hands.

The above things are about the offending party – what about the one offended? Adams says the promise of forgiveness involves three things:

1. I will not bring the matter up to you
2. I will not bring the matter up to another
3. I will not bring the matter up myself

I’ve already posted my “New Year’s Resolutions” – like it or not, it seems to be a habit that we think of the new year as a time for contemplation and of new beginnings.  I didn’t want my spiritual goals for next year to be “do this, don’t do that”.  That’s moralism.  Me trying to be better is not what makes me better.

Last year, I had a goal of “reading the Bible”.  But me reading the Bible is not what works – it’s letting the Bible read me.  Am I willing to be examined by the Word of God?  This is not so much about what I DO, but rather my thoughts and motivations.  Knowing what the Bible says is a good thing – I’m not saying that we shouldn’t read the Bible…but knowing what it says is only the first step to “getting” why it says what it says.

There is a huge difference between KNOWING who Jesus is (lots of people know that) and BEING who Jesus is.  LIke the saying goes, “Jesus with skin on”.  I want to be Jesus with skin on.

• Don’t be afraid of controversy.  Jesus was not afraid to call the religious leaders of His time a “brood of vipers” because of what their theology of works was doing to the people.
• Controversy with grace is the key.  There was a difference in the way that Jesus treated people who were doing wrong and the way He treated people who were teaching wrong.

There is a huge difference between knowing the grace that was extended to me – and making a choice to extend that grace to everybody around me – even (especially) those who really don’t deserve it.   I want to extend grace.

I sin.  Everybody does.  I’ve been reading a little Spurgeon here and there (and I’m going to be reading more).  One of the striking things about Spurgeon is that he never, EVER lost his sense of wonder about the grace of God that was extended to him. I am that “wretched man” in Romans who knows what to do, but doesn’t have the ability to do it.  That which I want to do I do not do and that which I do not want to do, I do.  Or more to the point, that which I should not want to do, I do anyway.

If I could do it – if I wanted to do it – I wouldn’t need grace.  But I do need grace.  And that is what amazing, that I need to let go of what I can DO (which is nothing) and cling to what Christ did.

This is what I want to do.

It is not bad – it is good – to know what you believe and to stand up for it.  Being opinionated is not a bad thing – being able to clearly articulate why you hold that opinion is better.  Having a clearly articulated opinion, and stating it with gentleness and respect is best.

That may be my “phrase” for 2007 – “gentleness and respect”

That’s a good goal – and you can start fresh anytime you need to.