Why do I believe "wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord..." and stop? Because I'm reading my own mail.
My submission to my husband (when he was alive) did not depend on him loving me as the Christ loves the church. Reading my own mail, I see my role.
Did I confront him? Yes. Did I enlist the help of the pastor? Yes. Did I pray? Yes.
Did that stop me from submitting? No.
God's Word to me is still God's Word, whether nor not somebody else obeys their Word.
I remember a great turning point in my Christian walk - the day I realized that my walk with God did not depend upon my husband's walk with God.
Could I follow his lead when he provided it? Absolutely. I can follow my pastor's lead, but my walk is still my responsibility.
Does being my own responsibility relieve me from submission? Not at all, rather my submission is a part of my own responsibility.
Read my own mail.
That is why I seldom write about a man's part in a marriage. It largely does not concern me - When I write "God-stuff", it is about what things are beginning to mean to me. Yes, I recognize the command to men and believe that a marriage requires that a husband love his wife as Christ loves the church.
But that is reading HIS mail. I know what to look for, but in my search to grow myself, I read my own mail; thus, most of my writing on marriage and love relationships is written from a woman's perspective, toward a woman's "mail."
I feel absolutely NO obligation (zero) to instruct men. I'm not a man, I don't face their challenges. It's not my mail.