Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid,
nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

God has led me through some frightening times...times of not knowing what the future will bring.

Maybe even more frightening have been the times when I knew exactly what the future was going to bring.

And there is more frightening times and more uncertainty facing me right now.

Yet God has commanded us...commanded...that we not be afraid.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." (Romans 8:15)

Woodrow Kroll writes "Lessons for Living"

A child had to walk each evening past a dark, spooky house. Some adult
friends tried to give him courage. One handed him a good-luck charm to
ward off the ghosts. Another installed a light at a particularly dark
corner near the house. A third took a more spiritual approach, saying,
"It's sinful to be afraid. Trust God and be brave!" It was good advice,
but not much help. Then one friend said with compassion, "I know what it
is to be afraid. I'll walk with you past the house." Instantly the child's
fears were gone.

"Lucky charms" don't work, mantras don't work.

It is because we are adopted children of God that we know that He walks with us.

It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. (Psalm 18:32)

So we say with confidence, "The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6)

Do not trust men...they will fail you  Only God will never fail.  And He will walk with you through the scary parts.

You can go through life thinking that there will always be somebody there - a "rock" - but that's not true.

Sometimes, it's just you...and God.

15- - Describe the person and work of Jesus Christ.

Jesus Christ, the second person the Holy Trinity.  Incarnate Son of God.  Crucified, died, buried, and resurrected for the remission of my sins.  Sacrificed so that I might be adopted by the Father.

Now sitting on the right hand of God, making intercession for me.

16- - What is the Holy Spirit up to in your life right now?

The answer is much different than it was two months ago.

In a specific way, I don't have a clue.  I don't know where He's taking me, I don't know what direction He's going.  And that might be the point.  If I don't know...all I can do is trust.

In a more general way, I'm broken.  Heart-broken and spiritually broken and messed up.  The only One I have to depend on is God and that's the general direction He's taking me...dependence on Him.

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13- How important is corporate worship? Other participation in church life?

I believe that corporate worship is essential.  I'm at Monroe because of the worship - I came to the conclusion that I can get good teaching on-line.  In the local congregation, I'd rather have good worship than good teaching.

14- How important is it to be part of a small accountability/support group?

It may be different for men's groups than for women's groups.  Women's accountability groups don't work.

I have been in an accountability group that was created for diet (think Weigh Down, only that that).  We talked about sinful eating habits, why we ate the way we did and other habits that were not fruits of the Spirit.

Important?  It may very well depend on the stage of life you're in and what your specific issues are.

11 - What church do you belong to? - Why?

At this time, I do not have a church membership. I attend a Christian Reformed Church that I'm fairly comfortable at, who will let me work in the limited number of ministries that they have - and the music worship is all I could hope for.

I do not have a membership because I'm complementarian and this church has a co-pastorship that is a husband and wife team. I do not feel comfortable at this time, taking an official membership in a church that I disagree with on a core doctrine.

I have visited many churches and this is the one that I like - other than this one issue. In the fall, I plan to talk to the pastors about the issue. My pledge will be that I will not undermine Pastor Amy and that I will not be the one to bring up the issue with another congregant. If they can live with that, I can live with membership there.

12- * Discover how you form your views. What is the reasoning-believing process? How do you handle the Bible?

I'm Reformed.  Sola Scriptura...and "come, let us reason".  Part of the "reasoning" is digging through both sides of the issue and discovering which side has not only the best "pro", but the fewest weak points.

I have radically changed views at least once in my life, leaving a Nazarene Church for a Reformed Church.  This was done after two years of studying and debate and not done lightly.  I've never looked back.

9 - What are you looking for in a life time mate?

Faithfulness.  Love.  A ministry partner.  A leader of the home.

10 - define "love" within a marriage

Love within a marriage is a little different than love between fellow human beings.

When you love your spouse, you love your own flesh.  You love the one whose body belongs to you.

For me (a woman), it means that I'll strive to submit to my husband as the church submits to Christ.

We share the same life, the same goals, the same will.

For him (whoever he may be), it means that he will strive to love me as Christ loves the church, giving himself up for her, washing her in the Word.

7- define "monagamy"

see "define faithful"

monogamy...one partner. Period.

8 - What are you looking for in a life time mate?

I'm not interested in "stuff".  I don't want a man for the stuff he can give me.  I want a man who will strive to be Jesus to His bride, God to His bride

...He will bestow preciousness upon me

...He will be my refuge, (Psa 61)

...He will stand up for me (Psa 94)

...He will nourish and cherish me (Eph 5)

...I will trust in his steadfast love (Psa 52)

...He will speak tenderly to me (Hos 2)

...He will be merciful and full of loving kindness (Tit 2)

...He will wipe away my tears (Isa 25)

...He will make me beautiful (Isa 60)

...He will carriy my sorrows (Isa 53)

...He will come to serve (Matt 20)

...He will restore my soul, He will lead me  in paths of righteousness (Psa 23)

and the tears are right here.

5 - Always single, divorced or widowed?

That's a simple question, easy answer...and it can feel loaded. We've established that "single" is a requirement, not we get to the "why"? (For an idea of how I feel about the issue, read Jay Adams' "Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible" - it's all about forgiveness and restoration)

I am a widow. I was married for 23 years and following that was in a relationship for nearly 8 years.

6 - how have you changed and what have you learned in that “single, divorced, widowed” process?

I've learned that there are many reasons to be single. I've learned through much study that divorce is not a "deal breaker" and I will not attend any church that believes that it is.

3 - Does "LTR" mean "long term relationship" or "life time relationship"?

I don't know how to give my love for just a little while.  I'll be looking for "til death do us part".

4 - define "faithful"

Faithful means:   When I think of love, I only think of one person.  I'm not interested in finding more than what I have.

One person's heart belongs entirely to the other.

If you have a history of a pattern of the things below, please examine yourself carefully.  A man once told me "there are men who have cheated...and then there are cheaters".  You should know which one you are before you make another person love you.

  • No "looking" with the intent of finding a new relationship.
  • no public profiles with "looking for..." in therm
  • No "poking",
  • no flirts, on list or not
  • no behind the scene chatting.
  • no having coffee
  • no browsing profiles
  • no dating on the side
  • no movies, dinners, shopping expeditions.
  • no sleepovers
  • no physical contact (kisses, long hugs on the couch, "sexual" activity, and (of course) the biggie...don't have sex with another person.

These are all physical things that reflect the heart.  If your heart is not committed to faithfulness, don't bother me.

I don't have a problem with female "friends" on forums, but I would not have a problem with my "other" screening male friends for me (meaning "friending" them before I approve them) and it would be nice if that went both ways.

I know that I intend to be a woman of integrity, both as part of a couple and as a single woman looking.  My commitment is that I will not "friend" a man without having his woman on board with it first.

As a woman on integrity, I intend to ask if a man is free of entanglements BEFORE any chatting takes place.

Faithfulness is a hard limit...If you won't commit to that with me, leave now.