Daily Archives: July 29, 2008

So offensive, in fact that I refuse to return to a site that has the button in the sidebar.

Personally, I would not compare a spiritual sibling to a religion that condones violence and death as a means to an end...that end being the silencing of anybody who disagrees with them.

I have in my personal library,  the book "Infidel" by Hirsi Ali.

Ms Ali is Muslim;  she is Somali born, and was circumcised as a child.

As an adult, she worked with Theo Van Gogh to make the film "Submission" (she wrote the screen play).  The film was not "anti-Islam", it was anti-violence-against-women and decried those Muslims who supported that violence.

As a result, Van Gogh was murdered and a note containing a death threat against Ali was pinned to his chest.  Ali has received numerous death threats and some of them have come close to succeeding.

This is the Islam that uses violence as a means to the end.


Christian girls on the way home from school:  ahhh...the photos were here...a young girl's body...her head laying beside her...the World Trade Center...Danial Pearl, his head laying on his belly....

This is the religion that some egalitarians compare complementarians to...and nobody objects.

I will say again...if a picture says a thousand words...that says volumes.

Both of my kids appear to be on the "education track" and the I'm remembering the psychology professor I had last year.  He knew his stuff; he was also an adjunct who happened to be the head of the special education programs for the country next to mine.  With years of service under his belt, he was very unlike the academics who were getting their information out of a book.

These "parenting styles" have also applied to many teachers I've known so it's a good discussion to have with somebody on the teaching track.

The first (and worst) is "neglectful" parenting.  The basic needs (food, clothing, shelter) are met, but other than that, the kid is mostly on their own.

Next is "permissive" parenting.  There are few expectations of behavior and the child is rarely (if ever punished).  At the end of the day, the parent caves.  Children raised in "permissive" homes grow up unable to take responsibility for their own actions and immature.

The next two sound alike but in practice are not.  And they are the most interesting because they can apply to so many different parts of life.  From a job manager, to a teacher/college professor, to a board president, to a neighborhood association.

Of all the "parenting" styles, psychologists say "authoritative" is the ideal.  An authoritative parent (or manager, or board member or elder) will clearly state boundaries and expectations, while giving those supervised the freedom to explore and learn within those boundaries.  There are consequences that are known ahead of time for breaking the "rules" (if applicable) and two-way communication is not only welcome, but encouraged.

"Authoritarians" are just as good (or even better) at making rules and handing out consequences.  The difference, however, is huge.  Instead of discussion, the rules are stated with a "my way or the highway" attitude that discourages opinions that may affect the style of the manager/parent/board member.

The differences between "authoritative" and "authoritarian" (outside of the parenting arena) can be roughly illustrated by two difference church boards.

1) says that "X" is a good program and is recommended for  personal growth.  "Y" is also a good study guide and church 1) urges members and attenders to choose the group and study that best fits their needs.

2) drops everything that all small groups, studies, age groups and classes are doing for (whatever period of time) so that every single person that attends the church within that time frame will be doing "Z" program.  Period.

In volunteer boards, this can mean a president who holds every bit of information close to the vest, so that other board members have a difficult time making informed decisions, vs. a president who distributes spread sheets and letters so that everybody who has to vote also has all the information available.

The "authoritative" v. "authoritarian" has a big impact on those who sit under these types of managers (or what ever authority structure a person is under).  From a philosophical point of view, as a parent and educator, it bears thinking about what sort of authorit... I am.