Author Archives: MzEllen

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5 - Always single, divorced or widowed?

That's a simple question, easy answer...and it can feel loaded. We've established that "single" is a requirement, not we get to the "why"? (For an idea of how I feel about the issue, read Jay Adams' "Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the Bible" - it's all about forgiveness and restoration)

I am a widow. I was married for 23 years and following that was in a relationship for nearly 8 years.

6 - how have you changed and what have you learned in that “single, divorced, widowed” process?

I've learned that there are many reasons to be single. I've learned through much study that divorce is not a "deal breaker" and I will not attend any church that believes that it is.

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3 - Does "LTR" mean "long term relationship" or "life time relationship"?

I don't know how to give my love for just a little while.  I'll be looking for "til death do us part".

4 - define "faithful"

Faithful means:   When I think of love, I only think of one person.  I'm not interested in finding more than what I have.

One person's heart belongs entirely to the other.

If you have a history of a pattern of the things below, please examine yourself carefully.  A man once told me "there are men who have cheated...and then there are cheaters".  You should know which one you are before you make another person love you.

  • No "looking" with the intent of finding a new relationship.
  • no public profiles with "looking for..." in therm
  • No "poking",
  • no flirts, on list or not
  • no behind the scene chatting.
  • no having coffee
  • no browsing profiles
  • no dating on the side
  • no movies, dinners, shopping expeditions.
  • no sleepovers
  • no physical contact (kisses, long hugs on the couch, "sexual" activity, and (of course) the biggie...don't have sex with another person.

These are all physical things that reflect the heart.  If your heart is not committed to faithfulness, don't bother me.

I don't have a problem with female "friends" on forums, but I would not have a problem with my "other" screening male friends for me (meaning "friending" them before I approve them) and it would be nice if that went both ways.

I know that I intend to be a woman of integrity, both as part of a couple and as a single woman looking.  My commitment is that I will not "friend" a man without having his woman on board with it first.

As a woman on integrity, I intend to ask if a man is free of entanglements BEFORE any chatting takes place.

Faithfulness is a hard limit...If you won't commit to that with me, leave now.

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I'm helping to take care of my mom.

That act of care-taking is the biggest part of what is helping me.  This woman that I love, that nurtured me and took care of me...is in need.

There are moments (not very many), but for the most part, I'm glad that I can be there.

Some if it is going through the motions...some of it must be hard for her, so I'm "matter of fact" about it.

 

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"Our Father"

Community here on earth.  The same Father who is Father to me is the Father to a believer on the other side of the planet.

"our"...unity.

My blood brother has the same physical father as I do.  We (Dave and I) are very different, but our dad is the same dad.  He treats us differently, because we are different people...but he is the same.

Right now, I'm angry and frustrated with Dave...but he's still my brother and I love him.  Don't like him much, but I love him.

We have the same father.

"Father"

the One who gives us life.  Who nurtures us, feeds us.  the only one who will be there always.

Everybody else will leave, only God is the constant.  Trust no one but God.

"Abba" - Father...a term of intimacy, kinship and surety.

For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, ‘Abba! Father!’ it is that very Spirit bearing witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him. (Romans 8:14-17, NRSV; cf. Gal. 4:5-6)

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Mom was a lot more fragile today...jittery and shaky.  A lot more time spent in bed and we skipped a lot of PT (at the therapist's suggestion).  She did the sitting exercises and she transfered a lot of times.  then she just wanted to rest.

when the PT got here, she said that she had taken on another patient that was in the same boat and they tried something that worked.   She put Mom's chair close to the kitchen sink and had Mom rock...on the count of 3...stand up.  the support belt helped because we can help lift her.  The cabinet doors kept her knees from buckling and she held onto the sink for dear life.  It was only a few seconds, but she was standing.

Those were the only good tears of the day.

Me...it wasn't one of the worst days.

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She stood up.  Major assistance, but a major milestone.

We have to push her wheelchair up to the kitchen sink, she pushes up on the arms of the chair, the cupboard doors keep her knees from buckling and then she grabs the edge of the sink and she stands for a few seconds.   I have to hold her "belt" (a strap that goes around the outside of her brace so that we can help or catch) and give her a little boost, then support...but it's happening.

My day...It's a good day for Mom

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A sermon was preached yesterday based on the premise that God knows what we need before we ask...before we even know that we need it.  (this, I totally agree with)...

and the instruction:  instead of "me, me, me"...for one week, we are not to ask God for anything, but rather we should wait and trust because He already knows what we need.

I'm holding on because I am in constant supplication for strength and help.  And I'm supposed to not ask God for anything?  Not even help?

Excuse the language:  bullshit.

James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

Luke 11:3
Give us each day our daily bread.

Jesus instructed us, ask.  that's good enough for me.

I suppose what got me into trouble was that I said so...in front of my family...and it was my brother-in-law that preached the sermon...