The first place we have to go with that question is to God.

But before we ask the question, we have to be honest with ourselves - if we don't like the answer, are we willing to change?

Where does "sameness" lead?

does "submit" really mean "submit"?

OBEY?

Eph 5:22Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Should an unbeliever be able to look at a "Christian" marriage and see the relationship between Christ and His bride reflected?

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.

Should an unbeliever be able to look at a "Christian" marriage and see the relationship between Christ and His bride reflected?

How many of us really (REALLY) take this seriously?

Husbands, do you really feel as though your wives submit to your leadership in the same way that the church submits to Christ?

Wives, do you feel that your husbands "wash you in the Word", able to present you radiant?

How does this / would this make you feel?