at 3:00 am five years ago, my husband of 23 years passed away in my arms.

At around midnight, he woke up and said, "I'm not ready yet." and then he fell asleep. A while later, he said, "well, I do have some regrets" and later, "I guess I'm ok."

His last words were "I love you."

The rest of the day was surreal. My pastor and his wife came over with coffee. A friend had taken Art's suit to the cleaners and I didn't know which one.

We really were ready - I never did "grieve" the way that people expected me to and I think that upset folks.

After everything else that had happened, this day seemed almost anticlimatic - five years ago June 2 was on a Saturday and we just had a family time. The first visitation would be on Tuesday and the funeral on Wednesday.

Back then, I'm not sure where I expected to be five years later. I'm not sure where I'm going to be in five years from now.

Today - I got hailed on. Art loved storms, so it's fitting.

I just found out that Grcc made a new policy restricting pre-college classes from early enrolled students. That makes me upset because it means the only math class I'll have hopes of passing is the one i cant take. I'm terrible at math ... I do want to ask mom though if i can take a basic welding class lol

I made the Dean's list.

That makes it really irritating when my son doesn't appear to be making much of an effort to...well...pass.