Life

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Came up on my shuffle

I want to somebody's everything...

I refuse to settle for something less than great.
And if it takes a lifetime, then that's how long I'll wait.
'Cause all I want is everything, is that too much to ask?
Have romance, love and passion; find magic that will last.

And I want someone to think they'll die if they can't be with me.
I want to be their joy, their pride, their dreams,
The very air they breathe.
I want to wake up feelin' loved and go to bed the same.
Yes, I want to be somebody's everything, somebody's everything.

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I'm listening to  a Village Church podcast from November...two weeks before Matt Chandler announced his tumor.

He mentions cancer several times throughout the sermon; the world thinks that if we disobey the law, God will send us cancer and he dispels that understanding.

He says that "in the forty years I'm going to have with you..."  Did he somehow know?

Yesterday I read that Michael Spencer has cancer.

And another...I read this morning that Michele's ovarian cancer is back.

A man in his 30's and a man in his 50's, a woman in her 40's

Life comes with no guarantees.  Find love, hold on tight.

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This day I am thankful that my kids are both going to be under my roof this night.

I am thankful that I have known love in return for the love I have given, whether or not my offered love will be taken up again.

I am thankful that over the years I have discovered what I need to do in order to become as healthy as I can become.

I am thankful that I am able to see that I need to become the woman that I need to become.

I am thankful, on this Christmas Eve, that the Father sent His Son to die for the sins of the world, that He called me, that He is taking care of me.

That His plan for me includes that which is best, according to His plan.

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My nephew's wife is pregnant, after five years of marriage and a lifetime of being told she wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

She's about three months along and I just found out that she's bleeding.  The baby's heartbeat is good and strong, her husband was just deployed on a sub for a few months.

Please pray for Karen, Rob and baby.

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I am certainly in a very different place than I was a year ago.  Oh my....how different.

I usually set a few goals (only to have them fall aside pretty early.

Yesterday I watched Harry Potter (the first one) for the first time.  Harry was looking into that mirror, in which he saw his parents (who had been killed when he was a baby)

The headmaster came up behind him and told him that men had wasted their lives staring into that mirror...gone mad even.  It showed their deepest desires.

"It will not do to dwell on the dream...and forget to live"

My goal for this coming year is to not forget to live.  I'm not going to wait around for life to change for me...I could waste my life waiting for that change.

  • I've signed up for 2 classes (the Philosophy of Religion and Orientation to Deafness) - both are book classes, not art classes so I think I'll be good.
  • See an academic counselor about transferring my credits to Grand Valley.
  • Be outdoors more, enjoy creation.
  • Cut my blogroll down and spend less time on line
  • Remember my books and crafts

Enjoy the life that God has for me right now.

There's more...

When the kids lived here the living room was "theirs" - they watched tv and played video games and if what they were watching didn't appeal to me (most of the time) I stayed in my office or bedroom and watched tv there or played on the computer.

Now...the whole house is mine and I'm going to use it.  I changed the furniture around in the living room, got a new reading lamp and (darn it) I'm going to enjoy my house.  I'm going to learn how to use the DVD player on the big TV.

I'm going to read in my big comfy couch.

Above all...I need to shake this depression that grips me...the loss.  Stagnation sucks - depression sucks worse.

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I was a little concerned that the dog would get over protective with Tom around for the first time since Toby came to live with me.

WRONG!

The dog seems to like Tom better than he likes me...he follows him around, climbs up on the couch next to him, hangs around him.

Appears to have abandoned me...

It may be that his previous owner was a man, so he sees Tom as that "guy figure".

Anyway, they get along.

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Earlier this week my mom dislocated her artificial hip (again).  This time they did surgery (her second major surgery in 6 months) and they ended up not having to replace the whole joint, just the socket.

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I just got a call from Dad - they're giving Mom 2 units of blood (I'm not sure what the numbers mean, he said it should be 12 and it's 7).

Her good leg is now her bad leg.  So she can't put more than 20 pounds on her bad leg and her good leg can't support her at all.

The good news is that she's consented to be transfered to a rehab center close to their home, rather than insisting on going to a home when she's released.  The social worker said that the rehab center will be able to keep her there until she can walk with a walker (which means that they'll be working on the "bad" leg [now her good leg] which hasn't been worked on because she was using her good leg [now her bad leg] and the walker.

So, in the long run, this could get her walking with a cane *sooner* than she might have been otherwise!