lunes linkage 4/28/08

"Organization" of the week: Making Great Waves for Kids.

GRAND RAPIDS -- Less than two months before the start of the swimming season, organizers say they need private donations to ensure six outdoor pools stay open for a full eight-week run.

But a businessman who has helped make sure Grand Rapids kids can enjoy a summer splash says it's time for the city to step up.

So far, the Making Great Waves for Kids campaign has raised almost $167,000 toward its goal of $300,000. That's probably enough to open the pools but not enough to make sure they all stay open through August, organizers said.

Click on the first link for contact numbers for more information on how to donate money to keep the pools open, or gently used swim suits.


"Narrowing the Risk of Mate Selection" - a short review at "Voice of Vision"

A seasoned marriage counselor has observed how couples wound one another in their marriage. He gave the following:

What Wounds A Woman

  • An awareness that she is not first in her husband’s life
  • Her husband’s failure to recognize her attempts to please him
  • Unfavorable comparison to other women
  • Her husband’s lack of spiritual leadership
  • Rejection of her opinion as important
  • Inconsistency in the discipline of the children
  • Attempts to correct her in public

What Wounds A Man

  • Resistance to his will
  • Lack of confidence in his opinion or decisions
  • Resentments for past failures
  • Failure to build loyalty in the children
  • Lack of a grateful spirit
  • Inconsistency in the discipline of the children
  • Criticism in public

OF COURSE these are not all-encompassing. OF COURSE there are more things that wound a person. OF COURSE there are exceptions to every "rule".

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11 thoughts on “lunes linkage 4/28/08

  1. Sue

    # Resistance to his will

    This sort of makes men sound like they permanently have the terrible twos!

  2. Yes..most women ADORE having their every decision challenged and questioned for the sake of being kept in place.

    And yes, I do know women who do exactly that to their husbands.

  3. Sue

    Mutuality > reciprocity

    a mode of exchange in which transactions take place between individuals who are symmetrically placed, ie they are exchanging as equals, neither being in a dominant position.

    Naturally there are other ways of defining it.

    I simply would never again associate with or work for someone whose major issue was,

    "Resistance to his will"

  4. I simply would never again associate with or work for someone whose major issue was,

    “Resistance to his will”

    I know a man. He has a wife. His best friend is getting married in another state. He is going to be the best man.

    He has a great desire for his wife to be with him for a short vacation while they celebrate the marriage if his best friend. She refuses. He is wounded. Is it that his "will" is resisted, or her selfishness? Are they inseparable?

    He will be the best man at his best friend's wedding. And he will be there alone.

    I don't know how my exam went. Either I did okay or I did so badly that I don't even know how bad I did.

  5. Sue

    Either I did okay or I did so badly that I don’t even know how bad I did.

    Yup, that has happened to me too.

    You know I don't think women should just go around making the man in their life totally miserable. And I don't think men are worse than women. I think all human beings are selfish. Therefore, to favour one over the other is bad for people's character.

    People need to learn to "submit to one another."

  6. Sue

    Hmm - my comment has temporarily disappeared.

    I said, yeah me too, sometimes I flop without knowing it. Most of the time I do know it, but you know ...

    And then,

    No, I do not wish every man a miserable life. But I made a great point of letting my children know that they could not have everything they wanted and adjusting to that reality.

    Giving someone everything they want is just as bad as not giving them anything.

  7. As I continue to say, there is nothing within a structure such as marriage that rules out leadership coexisting with both people submitting to the needs or desires of the other.

    In the case I described, there is nothing like I would describe as complementarianism. It is also not a case of the wife (or the husband) giving the other everything or nothing. It is more of a case of each person learning that they should control themselves and give to the other SOMETHING!

    I am merely demonstrating that it is the husband's "will" or desire that his wife accompany him to the wedding of one of his best friends - where he will be best man. He is deeply wounded by her resistance, even though he is exerting no leadership. Is he being childish? I don't think so. This is an important event in the life of a friend and she is demonstrating that what is important to him is something to be used to hurt him.

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