I don't see "hupotasso" as a "life sentence", a punishment or limitation on my "personhood".
To me, it's an incredibly romantic dance of love. I'm talking about the dance. The jigsaw puzzle.
The way it all fits together in a way that can only be planned out.
It's not true that every dance needs a lead. But the more involved (and the more intimate) the dance and the closer the dancers are, the greater the need for a lead. Imagine a "tango dip" without a lead! If he is doing his job and she is doing her job, it all works out well. If not...yikes.
Imagine "hupotasso" in the context of Ephesians 5, where a husband/wife are compared to Christ/the church. Let's not debate whether or not "hupotasso" exists in "that verse", it appears in other verses in the same context. I'm specifically talking about the relationship between husband and wife, compared to Christ and the church.
Does Christ's authority over the church make her any less important or loved? No, not at all! Does the church's mandate to serve Christ make her any "less"?
It is the church's yielding to the will of God that allows God to work in her.
If a Godly marriage is to resemble Christ and the church, how does that look?
It's the dance!
The prophet Isaiah wrote"
"For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.
For the LORD has called you like a wife deserted and grieved in spirit, like a wife of youth when she is cast off...",
Consider God, for a moment, in the role of a husband:
The name of the LORD is a strong tower;
the righteous run to it and are safe.
Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
...as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
This is the dance...
He has a role; she has a role. If God and the church are the model, he has a role; she has a role.
She "hupotassos" to him, she is an "excellent wife", keeper of the home.
He is her strong tower, her shield, her strength, her refuge, he washes her in the Word
When Christ and the church are your model for marriage, this is the dance.
He can trust her to follow him, to do her part; he can trust her to trust him.
She can run to him, she can trust him to shield her, protect her.
"It takes two to tango".
The church can dance, dip, spin, twirl with joy - and Christ will catch her.
Wives are free to dance for joy, stretch, leap; they can do amazing things! If Christ is the model for their marriage, her husband will catch her if she slips.
It's the dance.